Painting the Feminine - Mary

The other morning, Connie talked to us about paintings that energetically attract us and how sometimes people really want to lay hands on those pieces. This really stuck with me throughout the day. As I got in the shower I was thinking about how often I got in to trouble at the Metropolitan Museum of Art when I was stilling living in NJ and visited frequently... because I'm an incredibly tactile person. When something touches me energetically, I HAVE to run my fingers over it. HAVE to. No ifs and or buts about it.

The prompt for our painting that day was to build a relationship with one of our previous works; to see which one energetically touched us in the same way as we spoke about that morning. To spend time with that painting, not fixing it, but working with it to further deepen our connection. And as I flipped through my journal and spent time with each page trying to determine who wanted to have a relationship with me, someone who I used to get in trouble for touching ALL the time kept nudging me... Mary. Whenever I went to the Met, I'd get caught up in the big Medieval galleries (one of my favorite periods) gazing at the tapestries and paintings... but I'd ALWAYS get caught up under the watchful gazes of the carvings of Mary holding her child that surrounded the big room. (Since rearranged, so I've been told) I could spend hours in there looking at each one, I must have a gazillion pictures of them all from different angles and I got in trouble frequently for touching them. I'm surprised they didn't have my photo hanging up outside the gallery saying "This girl's a handsy one! Don't let her near Mary, or she'll touch her."

But it didn't end there, because when they had the beautiful Byzantine art exhibit, I was drawn to her there too. I didn't touch those ones though; too many guards in traveling exhibitions. ;-)

Having had no Christian upbringing, I have always found this connection to Mary to be a bit bizarre, but I've gone with it. She's been appearing to me and I've been drawn to her since I was a little girl. Whenever she shows up in my life, I pay attention and always feel comforted by her presence. I enjoy her in all of her iconography and names; The Virgin Mother, Queen of Heaven, Guadalupe... but the one image of her that I've always been especially drawn to is Mary with the snake. In most icons, she's stepping on the snake which I've always felt a little weird about even knowing what the serpent represents in her mythos.

So, when she kept nudging me the other day, it was she who ended up in the pages of my journal... with one very obvious difference, the snake was carried by her rather than trampled upon. That Queen of Heaven; lady of comfort and nurture and hope working along with the ancient snake; herald of transformation, healing and rebirth.

When I finished I had a real lightbulb moment there in my heart in the story of my relationship with this particular goddess (because that's how I see her); When this Divine Mother Goddess is paired with the Snake it throws back to ancient goddesses, who were often depicted holding or wearing snakes, It brings the entire concept of Divine Feminine energy back home and full circle to me and makes my relationship with Mary seem less bizarre to me, the pagan. And though when I was younger I didn't have a name for my faith (or lack thereof), I felt drawn to and comforted by Mary - the only friendly face or form in many of the churches I visited; with her arms outstretched and her robes beckoning us in to the folds of soft safety and love.

Look at That Smirk

Look at that Smirk

While I was at work yesterday, having a less than joyous day, I broke out the trusty Moleskine my best friend got me for Yule and sketched. At first came a woman on the left hand side, with dark eyes and long flowing hair. As I worked on the hair, I felt the urge to add the crown and the key. Once those were in place, I had no doubt who exactly it was that I had been sketching.

As I worked a bit more on Hecate, I felt a gentle tug and the sensation of a chuckling to my left. A whisper that my sketch needed wings! I very nearly stuck some on Hecate's back and then the sides of her head before sticking one on the side of the page. The chuckling continued as did the serious tug at my hands to draw wings. Oh, and some swirly curly bits too!

I let my hand go on the page to the right, sketching a wing, an oval, another wing. Then some glittering eyes and a quick swipe of a smirk. Oh bugger, Hermes! Really? You wanted me to draw yet another image of you? Because the last 35 of them I've done haven't been enough?

There's a bit of a glare and then a wide eyed mischievous grin before he whispers it's a shame to hide such great abs and winks away, leaving me alone. Oh, you cheeky Trickster god!

If there is one thing that I have always enjoyed about Hermes in my 20 years of time with him, it's the way that he can bring cheer to even the most dour of days. He doesn't always appear to me in his youthful form, nor as Trickster, but it is the most frequent.

And honestly, how could anyone resist that smirk?

Staying the Path Part 1: Deities

A little while ago, Aine over at The Deepest Well was thinking about the great amount of people walking a pagan path and wondering how many stay on it for the long haul and if it isn't just a passing phase for a good number of people.

This led me to think about my own path, the way I walk it and how long I've been on it. The thing about this sort of spiritual journey is, unlike most organized religions I've come to know, it's changeable and transitional. It will grow and change as you learn more and grow and change yourself.

In the past, I've written a little about my beginnings on this path; about finding the Olympians in a book when I was maybe 7 or 8 and how their stories moved something in my soul. Before I would drift off to sleep at night I would say a prayer to each of them - beginning and ending with Hestia though I knew not why - to simply say hello, thank you, or to ask for guidance on something. Sometimes I would call on one individually just to talk about something that was bothering me or that I didn't understand. As a child, you don't over think these sorts of things, you just talk to your gods like other kids talk to theirs. While I respected each and every one of them, it was Artemis who claimed me as her own. But there was often also a bit of a mischievous laugh and a wink from an adorable curly haired god who I would hide beneath the sheets in the middle of the night with and talk of fun, adventure and dreams.

But, as is often the case, as we grow and we change, so too do our spiritual needs. And as those change, so to will our relationships with deity. Some will end; they might be painful or hurtful, they might fade away in such a way that you feel just fine. Others will change and grow, they will deepen and more will be asked of you. You will be challenged and you will learn. New ones will begin as your direction, leaning and pathwork changes.

Different gods came into my life, from other Pantheons. And though I did (and still do) hold the Greek Pantheon in my heart as my own, I could not deny the calling of others. Each has had something to teach me; be it a story, a habit, a skill or an important off shoot from my path. And while some have stayed with me for years others have only stayed with me for as long as it took to heed their teachings. Some of the relationships have transitioned, the best example being my relationship with Artemis. As I grew and married, I could no longer be one of her chosen. We knew it was going to happen and we were at peace with it when it did. And while she may no longer be the Goddess who has claimed me (that space is currently vacant), she still speaks to me in her aspect of Huntress and Wild Woman and it is she that I petitioned to watch over my sister in childbirth and to keep watch over my niece as she grows. Some, like the one I have with Hermes, have weathered the storms of my life, deepening and changing as I have grown.

Yet there are others still, whose signs have been clear as the sky on a cool Winter night, yet I have only recently realized that they've been calling to me. Not too long ago, I wrote about death and the dying becoming a part of my path and someone who I'd never spoken to previously brought up working with Hecate. I shrugged it off, chalking it up to someone just giving me the 'go-to' goddess of witches, if you will. I'd never felt any pull or inclination to work with her before and I don't tend to just petition whichever god/dess seems like a good fit for something. I forgot all about the comment and became ridiculously enamored of skeleton keys; snatching them up whenever I saw one that felt like it needed to come live with me. I've seen numerous snakes this summer and heard owls constantly. Still, I didn't put the pieces together, I chalk a lot of it up to mundane matters sucking up all of my time. Even after I wrote about the black wolf and the torch bearer and she came up several more times I still didn't get it. It wasn't until a few nights ago, while sleeping, that it finally dawned on me; Hecate is calling to me.

And so, she will be joining my household Deities for however long she deigns to work with me. For my part, I will be reading and researching all that I can on her, her mysteries and mythos and am open to suggestions.

As this has gotten a bit long, I will save my thoughts on rituals, magic and staying my path in a secondary post.

How has your relationship with the spirits, deities, ancestors, etc. changed throughout your journey on this path? How did you find them? Did they call to you and did you, unlike myself, hear them sooner rather than later?

What are your thoughts on staying the pagan path?

P.S. Some have asked over the years if I view the Gods as individual entities or different facets of the two all encompassing entities. I'm a polytheist, so I see them as more or less individuals, although I will say that some of the Gods and Goddesses you find across different cultures and Pantheons are very possibly the same ones bearing different names. For my part, I tend to worship and work with quite a few, though Earth, Sky and Sea are the biggest three (as they are the life givers) along with my Patrons (well, Patron right now.)I work with and am inspired by others, I have love and awe for them but they haven't claimed me. If that makes sense.

Work In Progress Wednesday - Gaia

Working on a new Gaia painting. This is the sketch that I'll be painting over the next few days. Sorry about the annoying watermarks, my stuff's been showing up around the intertubes cropped so my single watermark is missing and uncredited, so this is what I'm doing now. *le sigh* I also didn't post the completely cleaned up scan for that reason, in case anyone is curious about the weird white smudges.

Once she's painted, I'll be offering a limited run of prints. The Etsy shop is closed right now while I decide if I'd like to continue to use them, so I'll most likely be doing orders via email for her with paypal invoices and such so I can skip the middle man. Just an F.Y.I, since some of you have asked if and when I was going to be offering up new Momma Earth art. ;)

P.S. Thank you all for your encouraging words, thoughts and prayers. It means so much to me that so many people from all over this beautiful Earth are looking out for and thinking of me. This isn't going to be a simple or quick journey, but I know I'll make it through no matter what may happen. Sometimes just the writing and venting can be cathartic. Thank you all for listening and for being there. *hugs*

Personal Deities: Ganesha

Lord of beginnings and destroyer of obstacles, Ganesha came into my life when I was in sorry shape - my family life was falling apart, my friendships were precarious, I was self hurting and drinking far more than I should have been. I was in desperate need of a change.

One hot summer night meandering the booths at a fair, I came across a shop with all manner of statues and tapestries of a Celtic style. I browsed and nothing caught my eye at first but there among all of those swirling knots and long haired beautiful Gods, sat one very different figure. He called to me as soon as I saw him and I paid two days wage for him (remember when $5 was the legal limit on minimum wage?) carrying this elephant headed fellow home ever so carefully.

Placing him on my nightstand, I slept soundly for the first time in what seemed like forever and the next day began to research who he was. Having been a follower of the Greek pantheon, the Hindu gods were completely new to me and I lost myself in the research and learning. I offered up sweets and devotions to Ganesha and felt only warmth and joviality in return.

You can't tell from the photo, but his trunk is worn to a much lighter, reddish shade from my rubbing it. No idea why I do it, it's just always felt right.

That was thirteen years ago. Ganesha has moved with me from home to home and my original icon has been joined by two smaller ones who live in different areas of the house as well as a pendant. My main one, however, resides in the heart of our home on my mantle - he is our main house Deity. Every day as I walk past him I stop and offer him my thanks and my love, dusting him off and running my finger down his trunk. I often burn candles and incense for him in devotion and if there are sweet things being made, he always receives the first piece. My devotion to him brings me nothing but happiness and just sitting with him or wearing his charm, fills me with love and a sense of peace. He helps me to understand that nothing is static and even the biggest obstacles and challenges, the most seemingly impossible situations can be overcome and changed.

Some folks may find it odd that I work with this particular deity, being as how I'm not a follower of the Hindu faith. But as an eclectic Pagan, I choose to work with those deities who tap me on the shoulder, call my name and fill me with knowing. Ganesha has been a part of my life longer than I have had a name for my beliefs, I've been with him longest of all the Gods, save Artemis and Hermes.

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About:

The name Ganesha is broken up into two parts - 'gana' meaning follower of Shiva and 'isha' meaning lord, making Ganesha the lord of the Ganas - followers of Shiva.

The elephant headed Hindu deity Ganesha is the god of success and the destroyer of obstacles, vanity and pride. He is also worshipped as the god of wisdom, education, the arts and science.

He is a loving and benign deity who you can invoke to overcome dificulties, to see you through on a journey, when making business decisions, for inspiration or when you could just use a little luck in your life.

Mythology

He is a god rich in symbolism and mythology. The story of how he came by his unusual head is one of the most popular, there are several versions so this is just a paraphrasing of one:

While her husband Shiva was away, the Goddess Parvati, wished to have undisturbed privacy during her bath. As such, she created a son for herself from paste on her body and set him at the entrance to her private chambers with the instructions that no one was to enter.

The boy, true to his word, refused entrance to Shiva when he returned. Growing increasingly incensed at his being blocked by this boy (who he didn't realize was his son), Shiva lopped off the boy's head and tossed it away! Emerging from her bath, Parvati was overcome with such anger and sorrow that she threatened to destroy the heavens and the Earth for her son.

Acting quickly to pacify his wife, Shiva sent his followers into the forest, telling them to bring back the head of the first creature they encountered. They returned with the head of an elephant and Shiva attached it to the boy's body, breathed life back into him and gave him the name of Ganesha. Overjoyed, Parvati and her son embraced.

Symbolism

Large Head - Wisdom, big ideas and a keen ability to make discriminating decisions.

Big Ears - Good Listener, able to hear any and all prayers and ideas no matter how small.

Broken Tusk - Duality, the full tusk representing wisdom and the broken (left) tusk representing emotion. It is said Ganesha broke off his tusk to use as a stylus to finish copying a dictation - finish what you start.

Trunk - Adaptability, flexibility, the ability to be strong or gentle depending upon the situation.

Big Belly - Sometimes said to contain the world or all of the emotions there-in. The ability to face and digest all emotions and situations, pleasant or not, in a peaceful manner.

The Mouse - Ego, desire. Often seen riding atop the mouse's back, or with the creature small at his feet this symbolizes Ganesha's control over his egos and desires, that he does not allow them to control him but rather he controls them. The mouse shows that thought controlled, they are always present.

There are so many more symbols and stories about this particular deity, so many names and aspects to him that I can't possibly go over them all here. If you're interested in learning more about Ganesha, A quick internet search will yield more reading than your eyes can handle in a day.

To lighten the mood a wee bit

Since my last post is so negative, I've decided to brighten things up around here by sharing some of my new paintings as well as show you all the completed sorceress painting I posted back when it was in it's sketch and preliminary stages.

Nut is the Egyptian Goddess of the Sky, who swallows the sun each evening and gives birth to it each morning. She is the mother of several deities in the Egyptian Pantheon, including Isis and Osiris.

Typically, she is depicted either stretch across the sky with her body covered in stars with her brother-husband Geb, the Earth beneath her. She is also sometimes depicted as a great star speckled cow and occasionally a many teeted sow.

I've had the image of her swallowing the sun buzzing in my head for a little over a week, so I chose to depict her in my own style as she prepares to swallow the sun.

Demeter is the Greek Goddess of vegetation, fruitfulness and the Harvest and is often associated with corn. It was she who taught humanity how to sow, care for and harvest the grains and vegetation we rely so heavily on for nourishment.

I represented her here as a harvest goddess and included a small tribute to her daughter, Persephone.

And finally,

The sorceress is complete, after several hours of painting. I'm incredibly pleased with the way she turned out, especially the tones of her face and the flow of her hair. I liked her just as much when she was in her blue and brown stage as I do her final stage.

Now I'm off to attempt to paint those pesky male deities and start packing for my trip home. Only one and a half days until we hit the road!

The Green Woman

The wild woman of the forest, the Green Woman's heart is free and her passions are fierce. She embodies the beauty of nature and her will is as strong as the roots of centuries old trees. Sometimes depicted with foliage sprouting not from her face, but between her legs, the Green Woman is a force of fertility and life.

Don't let her wild heart fool you however, for the lady can be gentle and will soothe those who require the healing touch of nature. She can make leaves catch the light just so, or create mushrooms that are too curious to ignore to help spark your creativity.

An oft forgotten or overlooked goddess, the Green Woman is the feminine force of nature who wanders the forests of all seasons, keeping the balance with her consort the Green Man.

Painting and Lugh

While setting up my art nook, I created a photo collage of some of my favourite places I've visited and times with friends. In the dead center, I wanted a square black frame, but had no idea what to put in it. It sat empty for two weeks, until a certain tricky god poked me in the ribs and declared he deserved the spot.

That god my lovelies, is none other than the Celtic god, Lugh.

Lugh is a Celtic solar diety and the master of all skills, from smithing to healing to art. He is a warrior whose weapon of choice is a spear that is said to be so thirsty for blood that it often tries to join battles without it's master.

Lugh is also a god of the harvest. Lughnasadh, the first of the three Pagan harvest Sabbats, was dedicated by Lugh to his foster mother, Tailtiu. She had exhausted herself clearing great forests to be cultivated and upon her death Lugh declared the people celebrate her life and honor her sacrifice with feasting, dancing and games.

Lugh is associated with the raven, the sun, sunflowers, cornflowers, sandalwood, citrine, peridot, aventurine and the colours of the harvest.

My painting of Lugh depicts him as I see him, a youthful celtic warrior of fair skin and sunny hair, some of which is in large plaits, accompanied by a raven. As was traditional with celtic warriors he wears blue tribal tattoos and a silver torc.

Details: raven and celtic sun tattoo.

This painting is 6"x6" and was rendered in watercolour on thick paper. Watercolour is a fairly new medium for me and I'm really enjoying it so far. I also don't draw or paint men very often, so this was a bit of a challenge for me. I have a bad habit of making men appear very feminine and I think I managed to bulk Lugh up a bit.

The Muses

The nine muses are Greek Goddesses of arts, sciences and inspiration. They are the daughters of Zeus and each one has her own specialty and personality. They are gentle goddesses who are easy to work with and are wonderful to work with when you have a creative block, even if your particular blocked field doesn't belong to one of them.

Erato - Muse of Love Poetry


Euterpe - Muse of Music


Calliope - Muse of Epic Poetry


Clio - Muse of History


Melpomene - Muse of Tragedy


Thalia - Muse of Comedy


Terpsichore - Muse of Dance


Urania - Muse of Astronomy

Each Muse is rendered on 4x4 watercolour paper with watercolour and ink.

Personal Deities - Artemis

As an eclectic pagan, I don't follow any hard and fast pantheon or set beliefs. I work with whichever deities call out to me and follow a path that feels right to me. If something resonates inside of me and stirs my heart, then that is what I believe I should be doing. I'd like to share some of my personal deities, why they are special to me and give some basic information about each of them.

When thinking about doing this, I knew I needed to start with Artemis, who was with me before I even knew what a pagan was. My love for her (and the rest of the Greek Pantheon) helped shape my spirituality in a big way.

My first encounter with mythology happened in 1989. I was 6 years old and perusing the advanced section of the school library. The Polar Express and similar stories were just not my style. While scanning the shelves, I came across a red and gold spined book with strangely formed white lettering that read 'd'aulaires book of greek myths'. The watercolour and pencil art of a great curly bearded man in a chariot, holding lightning bolts had me checking the book out without ever cracking the cover.

I took the book home and read it from cover to cover in one night. I read it cover to cover every night for a week, but always stopped on the story of Artemis, goddess of the hunt. I would gaze at the moon from my bedroom window and wonder if she was out driving her silver chariot through the night sky or in the woods behind my parent's house, running with the deer, peering into bear caves and dancing with her nymph companions. When it came time to give the book back, I was saddened to see Artemis go back on the shelf.

I took that book out every month until the librarian caught on and put limitations on how often I could borrow that particular book. I moved on to Norse mythology where Freya and Loki stood out to me, I read Chinese and Japanese Mythology which didn't resonate in me at all. I started taking out the books on Roman Mythology, but didn't care for the Roman names of the gods I loved, although I did enjoy that my middle name was Diana quite a bit after learning my much beloved goddess was known as such in Rome. Oddly enough, the school had no books about the Celtic Pantheon.

At 10 I started praying to the Greek Pantheon (each and every one of them) by name, each night. I always started out with Hestia and worked my way through the names, drawing a little moon in the darkness above my bed when I was done. I always said an extra word or two to Artemis.

When I graduated from that school in 6th grade and had to leave, the 'd'aulaires book of greek myths' never returned to the shelves of that library. (Hey, there are worse things than books a kid could be theiving!)

As I went through my teens, I grew apart from my pantheon, spirituality took a back seat to growing pains and the realities and dramas of High School. I still said a prayer some nights to the gods, I spoke to Artemis directly as well, asking her to watch out for me and to avenge me once. I'm sure too, that she did just that. I had one particularly terrible thing happen to me when I was 16 and from what I understand the perpetrator has had one hell of a streak of bad karma since then - arrests, drug habits, more arrests... you get the idea. I still thank Artemis 10 years later for that.

As I got older and married, the goddess left me. She still creeps into my thoughts and is important to me, she even works her way into my artwork as you can see in my art journal spread above. I will always love her as the mistress of the forest, great goddess of the hunt and a maiden of the moon, but I feel, for now, that our time together has come to an end.

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Artemis - Greek.

Daughter of Zeus and Leto, Twin sister of Apollo

Other names: Diana, Artume

Artemis is the forever virginal maiden goddess of the hunt. She is the mistress of the wild forests, protector of nature and baby animals. She is also the goddess of childbirth and is said to have helped her mother give birth to her twin brother just minutes after her own birth.

Symbols of the Goddess: Silver bow and arrow, the crescent moon, Cypress trees
Animals Sacred to the Goddess: hounds and stags
Stones associated with the Goddess: Moonstone, Quartz Crystal

Common Mythology:

The Theban Prince Actaeon was out hunting and stumbled across Artemis while she was bathing. Unable to look away from the beautiful goddess, he spied on her a bit longer from the brush. Artemis, enraged by his actions turned him into a stag. He was chased down and torn apart by his own hounds.

The story of the constellation Orion is attributed to Artemis as well. There are several variations of the story, some bloody and more terrible than others. The one I grew up with is this:

Orion, son of Poseidon, was a renowned but humble hunter and Artemis took notice of his skill. The two became hunting companions and Artemis grew fond of Orion. Her brother Apollo, ever protective of his sister, was angered by the bond she and Orion shared and sent a great scorpion to kill the hunter whilst Artemis was away. The scorpion came upon Orion, and try as he might, the hunter was no match for it - he was stung and killed. Artemis, returning, slew the scorpion and in mourning hung Orions body in the stars. The scorpion she planted ever behind him as a reminder of the treachery that can be brought on us by even the ones we hold dear.