Balance and the Black Wolf

The Black Wolf and The Torch Bearer - Ball Point Pen.

All around us, there is balance. The cycles of nature, the seasons, are balanced. There is a time to sow and a time to harvest. A time for life to die back and a time for it to begin again; renewed. It is present in the passing of days, shared by the sun and the moon. These balances are necessary, for without darkness there could be no light.

In theory.

Light could still exist without the juxtaposition of darkness, however, would we truly appreciate it in that state? If we never experienced the chill and cold, the onset of despair that can be found and fought in the night would we be as thankful for dawn's breaking light and day's warmth? Does one who has never experienced drought or heat, appreciate the coming of rain as much as one who has?

By the same token, there is a balance that strives to exist within ourselves. It is the constant dance of light and dark that takes place in our minds, our emotions, our spirits. We go through periods of happiness as well as melancholy, both are necessary and it is worth getting to know these aspects of ourselves. The Goddess of Crossroads, the torch bearer, often comes to bring me light when I most need it. As one who has been prone to unexplainable periods of gloom since my teens, I've gotten accustomed to the darkness, the Black Wolf.

Sometimes the Black Wolf is called to my side by certain events. He envelops me in his darkness and I do not fight back. I surrender to the emotions and he sits patiently beside me until the Torch Bearer comes to lead the way back to the light. At other times he sprints unbidden from the shadows, nipping at my heels without warning. I can escape his jaws, but sometimes I am not fortunate enough to do so and at these times I find myself cloaked in the gloom for hours, days or weeks. The heavy weight of the Black Wolf sits on my chest, an unexplained lump of sadness, fear or listlessness. Often, I know not why he has come to pin me down and I occasionally fear his darkness will be unrelenting. Yet sometimes, in his darkness, there is something of importance waiting to be found.

The Black Wolf has been sitting beside me these past few weeks in what I at first assumed was a random bought of depression. But no. He was patiently waiting for me to pull myself inward, to hermit, and realize that I've been doling out too many pieces of me and not keeping enough to myself. He wanted me to see that I need to spend time nurturing and reconnecting with myself, that the funk I've been in was very much of my own making. My spirit has been feeling listless and disconnected, it longs to reconnect with my heart and the divine. The Black Wolf teaches me that I need to learn how to say 'no' when I want or need to and stop worrying about how folks will take it. Stop being a 'yes' woman and start making time for myself and my spirituality. His lesson learned, the Black Wolf bows his head and allows the Torch Bearer to lead me from his dark domain.

The Black Wolf and The Torch Bearer are balanced, as each has lessons to teach that require my time. While the Goddess shows me the light of happiness and hope, the Black Wolf asks me to look into the darkness. While laughter may be the best medicine, sometimes a good cry can be just as cathartic. When we dance in the darkness, the light will always be the brighter for it.