The Fawn and The Goat - Part Two

You may recall that a few years ago,
A cheeky Goat met and wooed a certain Doe.


Maybe you've wondered what happened to the pair?
Perhaps curious if that love of theirs is still in the air?


Three years have passed since that Midsummer eve,
when the Goat kissed the Fawn 'neath the red bud tree.


The pair sit sipping a romantic tea,
a few shorts weeks before the two become three!


Yes, friends, it's true, a babe is on the way!
"But what will it be?" several of you say!


Will it have horns tall and thin,
or will it have curved ones to match its grin?


Will it be silly?
Will it be cheeky?
Will it be daring?
Will it be hairy?


We won't know 'til the babe is here,
who knows what you get when you mix
a goat and a deer!





Happy Mad, Mad Tea party! Thank you all so much for visiting. To visit other parties, please click the image in my sidebar to be whisked away to Miss. Vanessa's A Fanciful Twist blog, where the list resides. :)

Gratitude versus Sugar Coating

Since I announced jumping off the "Positivity" Train in a post a few months back, there have been a few people bewildered by my participation in the Gratitude Sunday project.

As I said in my aforementioned, extra ranty, post, a lot of what we refer to as the positivity movement feels like a high pressure sales pitch towards a fake, sugar coated life. It's a bunch of people editing photos, mailing out newsletters and running websites that make some readers - including this one - question the value of the lives they're living and doles out guilt for not making each and every moment of every single day on this Earth magical and special and memorable.

It makes you look around your house or apartment, at the streets, suburbs or familiar woods outside of your home and sigh, "Why can't this be tropical paradise?" It makes you long for a magically easy way to make a living, to globe trot, to throw common sense on the fire and follow whimsy. Seriously, who doesn't that sound good to? Unfortunately, it's not feasible for most people and really, why should we feel badly for having a good, if not exotic, life? What's the point in creating guilt or feelings of failure in your readers? Isn't that sort of, kind of, the opposite of being legitimately positive?

For those reasons, I've quit reading any and all blogs, newsletters, etc that fall in to that vein. I don't want your snake oil disguised as sunshine, thanks. What I do want though, is to be healthily positive and to find the up sides in the life I'm living. Not the shoulda, woulda, coulda life or the unrealistic fairy tale one; the real one I'm living. Right here, right now.

Thinking back on a day, or a week, and finding things which I can say with certainty that I am grateful for is a good way for me to do that. It's not a sugar coated way of putting a positive spin on a crap day, because let's face it, some days are just shit. That's the honest to goodness truth. But even in those shit days, there may be one little ray of sunshine that you would have overlooked if you didn't think back on it at the end of the day.

Nothing life changing, mind you, though it could be. I'm talking something simple, like a delicious piece of cake, no line at your favorite coffee spot, a silly photo message from a friend, a well timed hug from a loved one or a fucking great nap. Keeping a list of these awesome bright spots helps keep me from focusing on the fact that the other 23 hours of the day were total bull shit and helps me clear my mind and go to bed without a little black rain cloud over my head.

It shifts my perspective just enough to remind me that while everything isn't always sunshine and unicorn farts, it's also not always a deep dark cave of deep dark despair, either. And for me, that honest gratitude is a fuck ton more beneficial than any highly polished pitch about what I should be doing to improve my life. Or rather, how to edit your life to seem perfect.

Because, fuck all that.

Muggin' it up

This seemingly random blog post is brought to you by my friend, Sam, who writes over at Chronicles of an Anthropology Nerd. While unloading the dishwasher the other night, a thought came to her that she is hoping to use as the Capstone Project for Grad School and that thought is simply this: That you can tell quite a bit about a person by their mug(s). And so she has started an anthropological study, involving mugs and brief interviews, through her blog and has invited people to share photos and stories about their collections.

You can read more about the project, what inspired it and how you can help Sam out by visiting her blog, here. For my part, I'm hoping some of you will play along and blog about your mug collection because I'm nosy and want to take a peek at what sort of collection everyone else has! ;-)

So now, without further adieu, my mugs! And a brief tidbit about what they mean to me. You'll notice there are quite a few of them, which is funny because I'm the only one who drinks coffee. So these babies are all mine.

We'll start with the least exciting ones and work our way up to my favorites. These ones here, are the 4 I bought to go along with my new dishes. I decided I wanted to brighten up my dinner ware a few months back and so my matte black dishes and mugs were donated and these guys moved in. I like them because they're bright without being overly garish. Also, there are two green ones and not two yellow or red ones because green is my favorite color. I think it's important to note; I never use these.

This set includes a Reindeer who showed up in my Yule stocking from the hubby one year and is a mug I drink tea from pretty regularly. Not coffee though! It's a bit narrow and small, so doesn't hold enough nectar of the gods for my tastes.

The TD mug is from my previous job and I used it all the time while I still worked there, it was inconspicuous sitting in my teller window. ;) Now that I no longer work there, I don't use it.

The Falls Park mug, is a tourist mug from the town in which I currently live. It's my favorite place in the town - a beautiful park with waterfalls and a huge bridge that I've written about before. Oddly enough though, I didn't buy this mug, it was gifted to me at my current job with a local construction company. I don't ever use it.

And now, for my most favorite of my mug collection! You can tell because I shared this photo slightly larger, lol. On the left is a mug I won a few years back during a Valentine's Day giveaway from Dancing with a Spatula Wand (whose writing I miss!). This is another mug that I use almost exclusively for tea drinking; particularly if I'm ill. Something about that cheery green makes me feel better inwardly, even if it doesn't chase the sickness away.

The middle mug is one of those irreplaceable mugs that if something ever happened to it, I'd be inconsolable. There was a time, ten years ago, when I was homeless for a few weeks and sleeping in my car at the local wildlife preserve. (This isn't a well known or publicized fact about me, I usually keep it under pretty tight wraps.) During that time, there weren't many people who knew about it in my friend circle; just my nearest and dearest whose help I refused because I didn't want to explain my shitty family life to their parents. One of them bought me this smiling jack-o-lantern mug after I stared at it, grinning, in the Hallmark store around Halloween and had planned on gifting it to me for Christmas. When shit went down though, I received it early - as a reminder that I wasn't alone, that people cared and to put a smile on my face. As that friendship faded and eventually broke off, those memories have turned bittersweet, but still I used this mug every.single.day for years. I still use it frequently; pretty much every day in the Autumn. It's huge and holds almost 2 cups of coffee at a time, it's a goddamn Jack-O-Lantern and pumpkins are my weakness (seriously, if you want proof of my pumpkin weaknesses see this post and my engagement story.

The last, but certainly not least mug, is the beautiful black and white Bee sketch mug. This was gifted to me this past Yule by my hubster and is my current every day mug. If I'm not drinking iced coffee and it's not Autumn or I'm not in need of a giant smiling face to cheer me up, this is the mug that I use. Bee is a creature that I have a lot of love and respect for and we've had quite a few interactions together. They're very important to me, a fact that hubster knows and actually encourages. (He's helping me get up the confidence to take classes and become a beekeeper.) We were out window shopping one day and I spotted a bunch of mugs in this style; with birds and dragonflies on them. This was the only bee one, but deciding I had enough mugs and was also broke, I walked away from it. I was ecstatic when it appeared under my tree and have had to work very, very hard to keep it white. Something about working with oil pastels near this mug that seems like a bad idea. ;-)

And there you have it! My mug collection. So now, I showed you mine, so I hope you'll show me yours!

Cottage Tea

In the late afternoon sun, a girl sat in the slanting light, sipping tea as her eyes devoured the words of a brand new book.
The tale, set in the woodland countryside, enchanted and entranced her. She sipped and read, sipped and read. And once or twice; she closed her eyes for just a moment.


Third time, they say, is a charm and the girl opened her eyes and before her; the tiny cottage adorning her reading table had come to life!


Nestled amidst mossy ground and towering toadstools, the quaint cottage lay. Warm glow coming from inside.
The girl's feet led her towards the partially opened door, her mind lost in wonder.


Closer, closer she crept and before she knew it, she was inside.
But as her foot touched cottage floor, the mysterious cottage went dark!


The girl tiptoed through the darkness towards a single window.
And as she grew closer, candles sputtered to life!



'Whooo Whoooo is that tiptoeing through our house,
Towards my nest,
Quiet as a mouse?'




The timid girl knew not how to reply, she'd never heard an owl speak!
She's only ever seen them fly!

A tiny voice peeped up from behind,
"Leave her be, Aveline! Its nearly time for tea!"



"Tea! Tea!" Many tiny voices chimed,
With a snort and a neigh the girl heard a voice say,
'I do hope you'll stay for tea time!'



The girl sipped her tea as she spoke with the revelers.
So many faces and names, she could barely remember them all!


There was Mousey Hood and his band of Merry Mice constantly squabbling with the Sheriff of Rattingham!


There was the White Rabbit who, the Horse with No Name whispered to the girl, is terrible at keeping time!


There was the Romantic Mister Rhythm who sang a song to his lady love, the dancing girl.


... as scorned love Lancelot rode his steed, Wounded Pride, away from the mushy affair.

Mister Dumpty, who couldn't keep his balance,
And a Winged Pig named simply 'Dream'.



And the girl, in that afternoon, grew to know and love them all.
Even grumpy old owl, Aveline, who guarded her glittering egg.



But alas, even the most fun parties cannot last forever.
Time marches on, whether we wish it to or not.


And once more, as the girl sat in the soft candle light, she felt herself blinking slowly.

Once...


Twice...


...Thrice.


And back in the afternoon light was the girl with her cup of tea, her book and her tiny cottage.
Time it seems, is a trickier thing than thought as well,
for the girl had not been a girl in a very long time.
A woman grown was she,
Yet creatures unbelievable had invited her to tea.
For while she was grown, a girl she was at heart.

She still believes in Magic and Wishes and Dreams...

Do you?



Thank you for visiting me and my troupe of tea craving critters! I hope you enjoyed our tale of magic, wonder and of course, tea!

And a very special thank you to Mad, Magical Hostess Vanessa for hosting us all on the wondrous weekend adventure! This is her 6th tea party, my 4th, and it is one of the things I look most forward to in the summer.

To visit her as well as other party guests, please click the image below and you'll be whisked to her blog A Fanciful Twist!



Crafty Credits for those Curious!
(Always give credit, where credit is due!)

The wee cottage that was the inspiration for this entire story (no lie, the beginning of the tale is fairly accurate as to how I got the idea and motivation to work on this year's party!) was made by crafty faery & mess maker Knickertwist! You can visit here here

The beautiful nest with its sparkly, glittery egg was crafted by the fabulously talented Tricia Fountaine! You can visit her here.

The knitted owl was gifted to me a few years back in a craft swap, but sadly, I cannot remember from whom as it was a large group affair. :(

Of Snow and Snakes: Dreaming

I walk through the forest, searching though I'm unsure what I seek.
Mud squishes under my feet. Roughshod trails of dirt, grass and rocks torn out by wheels long ago, being reclaimed by the Mother.
Luna's ears perk up as we hear the sounds of voices in the distance.
Her leash appears in my hand, harnessed, she leads me further in to the forest.
Thunder claps, darkness descends.
I stumble and she runs to my side, licking my hand as it grasps a log on the ground.
The log isn't a log, but a large brown and black snake.
It strikes her once. Twice.
Crying out, I try to grab it, it strikes my hand.
She isn't moving.
Unearthly screams escape me as I tear the snake in two with my bare hands.
Covered in blood, mud and bone I clutch her small body to my chest and sprint deeper in to the woods.
I know someone there can help.
My shoes have gone missing.
My feet are cut, bloody and sore.
I reach a campsite, Joe is there.
I hand him Luna before I collapse.
Awakened by a stranger putting a red gauzy pad over my snake bite.
Telling me I will be ok.
I look for Joe, Look for Luna.
Everything is dark. It's raining.
I'm being comforted.

I wake up.

It's snowing.
Barbed wire fence running around me.
A truck pulls up.
Gray, noisy in this silent place.
Everything is gray.
My clothing. The sky.
Save the glistening white snow.
A figure comes from the passenger side of the truck to me.
Face unclear, larger, taller than me though.
I feel comfortable with whoever this person is.
Warm, safe. A friend.
Gray Hoodie.
We walk the fence line.
Talking, though I can't recall the voice or the words.
Soothing.
We stop and the truck barrels up to us.
Someone inside yells to my companion to leave.
To forget and to leave.
My shoes are gone (again)
Feet hurt from the cold.
It's so cold.
The wind has picked up.
I cling to my companion.
Warm sleeve against frigid face.
I notice the snow around my feet melting.
Big dark blue puddle leading to mud below.
Tracks behind look huge,
Bright blue and vivid against the white snow.
My Companion has crossed the barbed wire and I cannot follow.
Gray hoodie fades in to gray sky.
The wind and snow has tangled my hair around my neck.
So tight.

I wake up.

Right Here, Right Now

Sitting at the kitchen table right now, watching the storm clouds roll in and sipping a tall glass of ice water. Just breathing, tasting the remnants of garlic from my lunch on my tongue. Luna is curled up around the lone foot on the floor, snoozing, as my other foot perches on the chair rung. A bad habit that leads to often achy knees.

The leaves have taken on that green that's ever so slightly too bright and the first thunderclap sounds before the heavens open up and the rain commences. A furry carpenter bee bumbles up on to my window ledge to get out of the water, the eve of the house keeps his wings dry. The pounding of the rain on the rooftop mingled with the howling wind and thunder wakes Luna who proceeds to bark at the window; protecting her home from the mean spirited weather.

It's silent in the house as I close the windows, dark too. I notice my head isn't running in the circles of 1,000 thoughts a minute; the would have, should have, could have, must do, want to, need to of day to day life rolled up and fighting with ambitions, dreams and memories. I take a moment to just savor the sound of the rain, the color of the sky, the stillness of the house.

This must be what being right here, right now, in the present is. If so, I hope these moments find their way in to my life more often to pull me back from the knife edge of hustle and bustle living and wrap me up in the soft, cozy embrace of slow present contentment.

Then again, I've always loved a good rain storm.

In the Stars

When I posted my previous entry, I was a big ball of nervous energy. There was worry about what sort of reactions it would receive, worried people who judge or preach or simply walk away from me.

And much to my surprise, none of that happened. Not a single, solitary scolding, put down, reprimand, insult or leaving was made. For that, I want to take the time to thank all of you who read and those who commented on my journey.

Thank you for bearing witness to my past pains and the road to recovery. Thank you for the words of love and encouragement. Thank you for opening yourselves up and sharing your own stories. Thank you for sharing in the process with me and for showing me that in unveiling my past that I can maybe be a flickering star that lights the way for others to heal as best as one can from an experience like that.

Just.. thank you. I am overwhelmed and I am humbled.

Riding on the wave of that previous painting, I began the next week's prompt... Curiosity. This time around, Connie asked that we look at our memory paintings with fresh eyes and open hearts. And to ask it questions, simple ones, like a child would. And start our curiosity paintings with those.

Looking at my painting, head cocked to the side like I used to do as a kid, my questions came to me. "Why is she blue? and what's with those circles?" And so, when I stepped to the page, those were my starting points.. blue and circles.

I started painting with the blue, sketching a big circle that then became attached to a neck and a lazily draping body. Beginning to scribble in the top of the paper with the blue, I sort of anticipated doing green in the bottom, sort of grounding the figure between Earth and Sky. But when I got down there my intuition said 'Nope! More blue.' And then another blue, in big arcs across the figure, forming half of what would have been huge circles if they were to connect to their other halves. Then, some red squiggles and highlights and finally, white circles like the ones from the previous painting.

Taking a step back from it, I noticed a swoop that reminded me of an arm reaching up towards me... so as I filled in the figure's flesh, I fleshed out the arm. The grounding that I envisioned came into play with my gut's choice of dress color - deep dark green and my hair color - brown. Looking at it now, I feel that the arm in the paint swoops is another item my intuition had me add to symbolize grounding of sorts. Keeping me from floating off into the space and losing myself even as I try to find myself. Reaching out to grasp my hand when I begin to feel overwhelmed or lost.

Finally, I went a little crazy with the paint, spattering white stars and black shadows across the painting (and subsequently on the walls behind. And I thought I was done. I went to get a glass of water and clean up, but as I was cleaning something kept tugging me back to the painting, looking at the upper arm outstretched into space... grasping at something. And I knew what I was reaching for... my heart. That tricky emotional organ that I've been working on letting beat fierce and free.

My fear gremlin was surprisingly mum during this process, I think she may have taken a vacation this past week. :-) Painting this piece was a relaxed process, I found myself smiling and feeling incredibly at ease throughout.

Looking at this painting, I feel like the answers to the intent's questions are there, as I float through the ether. I think there's something huge in the fact that my eyes are open in this painting and not closed as in the other ones I've done recently.

******
Comments from my fellow BIG painters that I'm posting here to look back on once our 6 week journey is over

Comment by Colleen on July 22, 2012 at 2:28am
What a great painting!

I like how her hands are reaching out for the important things.

Comment by Connie Hozvicka on July 26, 2012 at 11:52am
Hi Danielle!

It was such a pleasure to read the way your process moved through this painting--it's so cool to see that movement actually reflected in your piece as well. When I look at it--I feel like the blue is dancing around her. I love that!

I also love how open and comfortable you are with listening to your painting and following through with what it asks of you. I'm not at all surprised that her eyes are open in the painting--for I see you as a person that see's deeper than most.

Thank you so much for sharing Danielle.


BIG Hugs,
Connie