Homecoming of the Spirit

If there is one constant in my blog habits, one thing that always rings true about my blog circle, it is that when I visit Aine at The Deepest Well, I find words that make me think, make me feel deeply or that are the exact thing I needed to hear without knowing it until it happened. Regardless of whether I comment, I always have thoughts bubbling in my head after I read Aine's writings. Today is no different except that I have enough thoughts bubbling around after reading A Time of Knowing that I didn't want to leave a novel in her comments.

Thank you Aine, for the inspiration to write.

Always, there seem to be trends among circles of peers and similar thinkers. Like others in this circle of witches and writers, pagans and thinkers, I have not written much about my spirituality of late; save for the occasional full moon or sabbat posting.

The truth of the matter is, there hasn't been much to write about because I've taken a break from learning, reading, growing and exploring. I've been lounging in my spiritual hammock in the shade of a familiar old grove I've seen many times on my path. To use Aine's words, I'm in a time of knowing.

Ruthlessly trusting my intuition, my knowing without reason, is something I've been working towards in other aspects of my life for nearly a year now. It started with art; baby steps back in to a place within myself I didn't question when I was a babe but grew mistrustful and jaded towards as I became older. Then it trickled in to other aspects of my life; relationships, jobs, how I spend my free time. That last one sounds a bit odd, but when one has been reared in a society that sees time not being outwardly productive as wasted, one needs to work hard to relax and breath when one's body/intuition begs them to do so.

And so, it's only natural that as I begin to retrace steps back in to that place of just knowing in other aspects of my life, that it would eventually become a part of my spiritual path. After all, as a highly eclectic human, compartmentalizing aspects of my life or myself has never worked out very well.

And so, I've stopped searching. I've quit reading and researching. The forks in the road have disappeared for the time being. Does this mean they'll never resume? No, not at all. To me, the reading, the searching, the setting out on new paths are very much like the spirit's version of bodily travel. Physically, we take trips to explore, to experience new things, see new sights and meet new people. To grow and to fill ourselves with knowledge, opinions and experiences we can't get if we stand still. But, these trips typically have a circular conclusion; Homecoming.

Right back where you've always belonged, right where you began. Sometimes, it just seems to take a long, winding route to get there. In a spiritual sense, sometimes it takes a lot of searching, reading and walking new paths to recognize and trust in what you know, rather than what you wish to believe. So many believe things are better elsewhere, that other methods are better than their own. That these thoughts or those practices are somehow holier or more spiritual. And they think that if they believe so ardently, then it is true. In the end, after the trials and travels, many of them end up knowing that this isn't the case.

I'm not saying this is the case for everyone's spiritual (or life) path as I can only speak to my own experiences. While I haven't been on this path as long as some, it seems to me that no matter what I learn and try, no matter what I read and think, it's the things I've always known, deep in the bones of my admittedly short life, that I keep coming back to. The things that work best and resonate deepest with me are those that I know, rather than those I believe.

These are the things that I always come home to. The simple truths housed in my intuition. The quiet, spirit led rituals. Concoctions and spell work advised from an unexplainable knowing rather than advice, a ledger or a grimoire. After connecting with many spirits, deities, paths and customs it is back to the Gods of my youth, to the spirits of the wildwood, the gifts and teachings of Earth, Sea and Sky that I've come back to. I'm reigning myself back in, regrouping and recharging after years of stretching myself incredibly thin on a quest for knowledge, growth and deeper spiritual wisdom.

My path has circled back and I've come Home.

Work In Progress Wednesday: Emerging

Hello old friend. It's been a while, hasn't it?

Too long, honestly. Shall we dance then?

Eclectic mix of A Perfect Circle, Muse, Gogol Bordello, The Mars Volta, Nine Inch Nails, etc. plays in the background courtesy of Pandora and I once more find myself dancing with old friends.

Swoops and swirls of vibrant reds furiously spread across the the canvas. Arcing streaks of yellows, becoming orange in places. Frenzied and heavy, swaying and singing with the music as my arm moves in long strokes across the space.

Slow it down. A darkness being swallowed up by fire; yellow spots like constellations creeping in. And out from the ether a figure; glowing, growing yet faceless still. Dancing through a wall of fire, reaching forth from the darkness.

Emerging.

18x24 acrylic on stretched canvas that smelled so strongly of sweet cedar when I removed it's packaging that it was almost minty. A work in progress.

Scots, Shrubs and Foxes - Oh My!

We had quite the busy holiday weekend over here. I'm back at work today, sitting at my desk, wishing I could have a weekend to recover from my weekend. My muscles are sore, my feet are achy but it's the sort of sore and achy that makes you smile despite the discomfort, because you know the aches were well worth it.

Except the itchy sunburn. The itchy sunburn totally sucks and was not worth the 2 minutes it would have taken me to slather on some damn sunscreen. But, I digress.

The weekend kicked off with sighting the Super Full Moon on the horizon on our evening stroll with Luna. Under her bright light, I collected fresh roses from the garden and offered up rum and wine, smoke and flowers at my altar. Feeling moved to hum a melody in deep, vibrational tones, I relaxed by candle and moon light and let my mind empty itself of burden, obligation and thought for several minutes while I hummed. When I felt ready, I opened my eyes and lit my candles for the evening's work: a white one to honor the moon and a brown one for grounding and burying. As they burned down, I sipped my wine and pulled the oracle cards that will guide me this moon cycle.

Saturday morning saw us waking up early to head to the annual Highland games at a local university. This is the second time we've gone and the first time we've been able to make it in time for the opening ceremonies and they were spectacular! As if hundreds of pipers and drummers weren't enough to get me excited about a bunch of people chucking heavy objects all day long, members of the military parachuted in with flags from Scotland and the US to begin the second half of the ceremony. After the presentation of the flags, the singing of the national anthems, a 21 gun salute from the Marines and the playing of Taps by a lone bugleman, a single piper began Amazing Grace.

Bagpipes make me cry. I don't know why, there's just something about them that makes my eyes well up whenever I hear them. Amazing Grace on the pipes makes me bawl. I was holding it together pretty well, biting the inside of my cheek while the single piper played... and then the rest of them joined. Hundreds of pipers playing at once. There was no stopping the waterworks. I just stood there on the edge of the field and sobbed until they were done and the chucking of heavy objects began, the falconry exhibition began and the Scottish inspired rock music came flowing forth from the beer tent.

We spent nearly 6 hours there, strolling through the tents, watching events and exhibits and listening to music but it only felt like 2. Until we got in the car to come home and realized how much being in the sun had drained us and conked out on the couch when we got home. There's little I love more than a nice afternoon nap!

The rest of the weekend was spent doing work around the house, tie dying with my lady friends, seeing the new Star Trek, laying under the stars in the hammock (I saw a shooting star!) and grilling out. We're getting ready to paint the house for the first time since we moved in two years ago, but before we can do that we needed to clean up the shrubs (and weeds) that have sort of, kind of, taken over one entire side of the place. I'm not sure what the previous owners were thinking when they did some of their planting (I think this pretty frequently when I work in any of the gardens save the veggie patch) but some of the things they planted are WAY too big or WAY too invasive for the areas they put them in and it's taken a lot of work to even get just the first half of the stuff cleaned out.

Yesterday we were able to say goodbye to some of the shabby shrubs, prune off a lot of branches on the crabapple and bradford pear trees and begin the arduous task of tearing out ivy, kudzu and Gods only know what else that's been growing under the shade of those awful bushes. It required the truck and we sacrificed a few straps in the process but we removed all but one incredibly tenacious azalea bush, which is crazy because it's half dead from lack of sun. That bastard is getting chainsawed and pick axed out.

Eventually, the plan is to plant a small cottage inspired garden in the front corner of the house with foxgloves, hollyhocks and lilies. Then I'm hoping to tuck some of those variously colored hostas along the shady side of the house for interest and to keep some of the weeds down. Slowly but surely we're making our little house our own.

The perfect end to the weekend? Sitting on a friend's patio, sipping cold beverages when a fox wandered out of the bushes. Honest to Gods, I've never seen a wild fox before. It's the little things, really.

Hammocks and Upcoming Projects

Since it's been hot and humid these past few days, I've been spending a good bit of my afternoons curled up on my hammock in the shade. The icing on the cake of my relaxing afternoons is my Moleskine, a cold beverage and my puppy curled up beside me. Some days I just doodle random things and others I sketch the things I see. The other day, I gave watercolors their first shot in my sketchbook.

I'm not completely satisfied with the color vibrancy or the way they responded to the paper, but I've got another set I can experiment with. I am happy that I was able to just let go and more paint/sketch how the tree felt rather than trying to capture the detail of every single leaf, fruit and piece of bark. It feels good to let go.

I've been taking a break from my big paintings, having finished two incredibly exhausting ones, The Lady and Deep, in the past few weeks. I'm giving my brain, my guts and my brushes a bit of a break and instead focusing on something fairly new to me; quilting. I made one small picnic quilt a few years back and it was, well, a labor of love (and tedium!). I'm sort of a rule breaker, so there were no exact measurements or fancy tools used, just folding and snipping with my scissors to get squares that were close enough to the same shape. It resulted in just the right amount of wonkiness! This time around, in an effort to bust up my fabric stash (I have tons of fat quarter remnants all over the damn place), I'm making a quilt for my queen sized bed. Same size squares as the picnic quilt, because most of my scraps are on the small side.

Wish me luck. And patience. So much patience!

There are some exciting projects starting up in June, if anyone wants to follow along with me or join in themselves!

Starting June 1st is Daisy Yellow's Index Card a Day project. I've never done this project before, but am looking forward to giving it a shot - going to try not to put too much pressure on myself, but to try to do at least 1 card a day and try out some of the prompts.

And starting June 3rd is Twinkle, Twinkle's Summer of Color 3! I participated in last year's Summer of Color on my main blog and had a great time. I'm looking forward to the start of this one!

Gratitude*Monday

I'm joining Taryn at Wooly Moss Roots and several other lovely bloggers in honoring the things for which we've been grateful for throughout the week. A quiet, weekly practice of appreciation and positivity. A time to breath and reflect.

If you would like to join us, just click the image at the bottom of this post.

This Week I am Grateful For:

* That I'm married to my best friend. That I'm lucky enough to have a husband that supports me in my dreams, decisions and goals. That we can laugh together, love together, be bummed out together. That he'll hold me when I cry over stupid things, brush my hair out of my face when I'm sick, rub my feet after a long day and gives me executive control over paint colors in the house. I don't think I say it enough, but I'm a lucky lady.

* New glasses. Now that my peepers have adjusted to the change in prescription, it's nice to be able to see clearly again. Due to my eye disease, my script has changed dramatically over the past 3 years - it's a bit ridiculous to me that I was O.K. with seeing as poorly as I did with the last glasses!

* Catching up on our favorite shows while cuddled up on the couch at night.

* Fat, buzzy bees!

* Purchasing a new turntable so we can listen to the new (to us) vinyls we've acquired as well as some old favorites. Our collection is growing and I adore it! It sounds cliche and it makes me seem like a music snob (which, I really sort of am) but there's so much depth to the sound of vinyl, so much soul in these albums. I pick up an old, pre-loved album and it's got history and a story to it. Also, I love that our local record store doesn't label them "used" but as "pre-loved".

* Eating the homemade pierogis my lovely made. Oh my gosh you guys, not only is he dreamy AND handy, he can cook! Gonna have to beat the ladies off with a stick now that they know!

* I hit a downward mood-swing due to moon-time hormones and was able to pull myself out of it more quickly than I've been able to do previously, with a minimal amount of tears. I'm grateful that I'm better able to recognize and take control of my feelings when I need to.

* Perfect relaxing afternoons in the hammock with dogface, my sketchbook and a cold beverage!

* Bird songs. Sparrows circling around us on our afternoon walks. The hawk wheeling low overhead while I'm in the hammock.

* Switching off on Sundays, unplugging from technology to spend some time together without digital distraction. The only exceptions to the rule are music and our phones/cameras but we can only use them as such. No piddling on games, email or the internet. Sundays have moved from a frustrating day where everything is closed (ugh!) to one of my favorite days of the week, regardless of the weather. Last night we listened to music on the new turntable, bullshitted and played darts. I have a secret; I used to suck at darts. I'm getting better, but I consider it dumb luck because when I try to aim I do terribly. When I just go ahead and throw, I do much better. Weird, right?

* Visiting with a friend from out of town who we haven't seen in nearly two years. Spending time showing off our little town as well as kicking back and catching up at the house.

* Mommy/Daughter pedicure day with Luna. Yes, I'm a little bit crazy. ;-) Also, random factoid: the only color I ever paint my toenails is electric blue.

* A fancy new batik bandana for my hair.

* Almost all of my baby plants seem to be going strong! The exceptions being broccoli, which bolted in the heat and the ghost pepper which for reason I can't figure out, has lost all but 1 leaf.

Hummingbird Magic

It's been a little while since I've checked in with how SouLodge is going and a while since I've taken to deep plunge in to my monthly soul workings with a new spirit guide. There have been lots of breakthroughs and so much growth throughout this process within myself that I honestly didn't expect to get from, what is essentially, a self-guided e-course.

I will admit, despite the fact that I've been in this course since January, I've been with our first spirit-guide Grandmother Bear since the get-go. She has kept me wrapped up in her warmth to do the really deep work a bit longer than I necessarily wanted her to, but I was gentle with her and with myself and trusted in the process. And trust is something that is hard for me to give out, most especially to myself. Yet I did so and I trusted that I was exactly where I needed to be and was receiving the necessary medicine. While I was sitting with Bear in her warm, herbal scented cave learning how to nourish and love myself, I was also circling with a group of amazing women on a Fearless Painting Adventure called DEEP.

During the course, we worked on one painting for 6 weeks, ruthlessly trusting (there's that word again.) our own intuitions to guide and grow the painting as we created it. We were asked to leave our preconceived notions and ideas at the door and commit to having a relationship with the painting. As I painted, there was a lot of rooting deep into the dirt of myself, using big bear claws and taking the necessary breaks to just be silent and to take care of myself - to keep myself from becoming too raw and overworked. I'd paint and sing. Paint and cry. Get stuck and lay on the floor just below the painting so I could look up at it upside down and wait for it to direct me. And as I worked both on the paper and with Bear, the layers of scar tissue that had built up from years of hurt, depression, loathing and fear, years of not enoughness and self hatred started to heal over. I exorcised inner demons and old memories with my paintbrush, though that was not my initial intention and doesn't really show in the bright colors and symbolism found on the paper. And after time, rays of light began to permeate the sacred space of my mind, "the cave" and I laughed, cried, danced and found a deep peace and a resurgence of self love and deep healing that I haven't felt since, well, I'm not even sure.

And as we came in to May, I felt extremely drawn to color. In a way that is bizarre for me; I craved rainbows and bright, happy, joyful tones. I swapped out the dishes in my kitchen (originally black and white and very formal) for rainbow colored, mismatched beauties. Out went a lot of black tshirts, in came some brightly colored ones. When I picked out new glasses the other day, I picked ones that were pink and tortoiseshell, not my usual thick black matte. They even have most of the lens rimless, you can see most of my face. It's like I'm no longer hiding myself behind something. And during that time, when I was smiling from ear to ear, absorbing the great cacophony of color and the warmth and sunshine of Spring, Bear let me go - telling me I was ready to continue on my SouLodge journey.

My mind initially tried to guilt me in to attempting to play catch up, to work through the months of Lodge I had missed. But, having worked with my guts for so long, in such an intimate healing manner, I knew I needed to let go of those expectations and jump, fearlessly and full of trust, in to May. And when I saw Hummingbird, everything clicked and I felt her magic immediately. All the bright colors and happy vibrations I've been experiencing made perfect sense with this flying rainbow buzzing around in my life. She visits my gardens sometimes and whenever I see her buzzing about, wings flapping faster than seems possible, I get the biggest cheesiest grin on my face. We're old friends and having her fly in to my Lodge work for this month is like a joyful laugh escaping the lips when you least expect it to.

I look forward to working with her as a guide, allowing clear out the spaces in my center and heart. I welcome her vitality and energy and invite it to work its magic on me.

Gratitude*Monday

Now that I've begun my annual routine of switching off and avoiding computer/television on Sundays during the warmer months, it's a little harder for me to get my posts up on Sunday. Either I have to take the time to schedule it on Saturdays or just write them on Monday. I'm not one for planning, so they'll appear when they appear; and being as how I now officially know what a "case of the Mondays" feels like, they could certainly stand to be brightened up! Before I make my list this week, I want to talk a little bit about what these posting have done for me. And yes, it is a little bit sappy. Deal with it. ;-)

Since finding Taryn's little weekly ritual, I've noticed a real shift in my perspectives. Which sounds cheesy and a bit cliche, in fact a few years ago my younger Gothier self would have mocked me for doing this, but it is nonetheless true. Perhaps this is a sign of aging, of growing up and maturing, but personally I like to think it's a sign that I'm finally falling comfortably in to my own life and getting the hang of self-love and simple, wild hearted living: something I've aspired to for quite a while. There are avenues of thinking and feeling opening within me that I haven't felt in over a decade, light chasing the darkness away and sweeping out the cobwebs. A sense of contentedness and a reconnection with nature and myself, a knowledge that even though sometimes things suck, my life is beautiful and amazing and I am so very, very blessed. 

I've even been doing an ok job of keeping up with my (sort of) daily practice of writing down the things for which I am grateful before bed in my little journal with the bee on the cover. As someone who is terrible at sticking to a routine, even if I log just one item a day or several items twice in one week, I'll take it, I won't beat myself up and I'll revel in the goodness in my life. It's helping me let go of so many bad things, so many painful memories and twitchiness and I couldn't be any more shocked and pleased with this process. 

That said,

This Week I am Grateful For:

* Being brave and stepping outside of my comfort zone despite my best efforts to weasel out of things, run for the hills and hide in my little comfort cave. Joe and several of our friends have invited me out to the range to shoot with them a few times, but having never shot a firearm before I was terrified and nervous and always turned them down. So, for Christmas, they gifted me with a lesson with a man who is incredibly patient and very good with teaching people who are nervous. I finally took my lesson on Monday, and I tried to weasel out of it the entire drive to the range, but Joe saw through my none-too-clever ruse and helped me walk in the door. Once I had met with the fellow for the lesson and fired off a round or two (and doing very well!), I found I was a lot more comfortable with the experience than I anticipated. Both hubster and my teacher were impressed with my shooting, my only marks outside the 8 ring happening at the very end when I was tired from the anxiety and weight of the firearm and wasn't focusing as well on my breathing. I don't know that it will be a new favorite hobby, but knowledge and comfort are power and I'll take them!

* Greeting the sun in the mornings as it crests over the trees in the yard. 

* Flavoring water with fresh lime and mint. OMG, I have been guzzling this like it's my job! So good. 

* Being able to go home from work early to celebrate Joe's birthday with him. We feasted on Indian Food, hung out in our beautiful yard, relaxed and just enjoyed the day. Having him love the gift I was brave enough to have done and then needed to be brave enough to actually give him - professional boudoir shots. As someone who has never had stellar self esteem and numerous body issues this was a huge deal for me to go ahead and do this. Much like the shooting lesson, my fear gremlin tried to have me weasel out of it right up until I got to the photographers place. Once I'd rang her doorbell however, there was no turning back. Even more grateful that he not only loved them, but acknowledged how hard it must have been for me to go through with doing it at all. 

The birthday boy on the phone with his nieces, while giving me and my sparklers incredulous looks!

* Going downtown to Artisphere with some of my lady friends Friday evening to check out all of the art and performers. We stopped at the local distillery to sip on some Moonshine, then ate dessert before dinner and we all ended up coming home with at least one piece of art. There was a lot of laughing, some bannister riding, some dancing in our chairs at a Mexican restaurant and a ton of pictures taken. 

* Love. Lovin'. Being loved. 

* Hubster making me a decadently delicious cheeseburger for lunch while I was taking a break from yard work. Nothing says love quite like a grilled burger with feta, lettuce and a handmade balsamic & honey glaze. Yum!

* Evenings cuddled up on the couch, falling asleep on my love with the fur babies curled up against me. 

* Making time for the things that nourish my soul: getting outside, making art and working through SouLodge. 

* Evening walks with Luna. 

* Great finds at the Farmers Market. We tasted our way through quite a few cheeses and salsas and ended up picking up all of these scrummy local goodies - all for under $35! 

* Pretty flowers and the smell of freshly bloomed roses covered in warm rain. 

* New plants in the garden! Getting most of my weeding and pruning done, getting the new babies in the ground. Having things look and feel amazing. 

* Warm showers and basic yoga stretches to soothe sore muscles. 

* My handy husband fixing a rotten spot in the soffet without having to replace the whole board and gutter on the front and side of the house. Love being married to such a handy man!

* Scoring a new-to-us ride on mower that actually runs and does a great job cutting the grass for $150! This might not sound terribly exciting, but Joe's been cutting our acre+ with a push mower for the past two years. While the exercise is great, finding 2 hours at a time to cut the lawn can be a bit bothersome at times. 

* Sucking it up and calling my mom after several months of not doing so because I'm stubborn as all get out. Actually having a very pleasant and lengthy conversation after the initial awkward "hey, what's up, it's been a while" phase. 

* Blue skies, ridiculously perfect clouds. Just soaking up Spring time. 

To join in Gratitude Sunday, click on the image below! Happy Week, lovelies.

Daily Pages, Lately

Lately, I've been focusing most of my mess making, artsy scribbling time towards the practice of my daily pages. Those little snippets of art I create with oil pastels in my sketchbook to purge whatever's clinging to my brain and get it on to the paper. Like most of my artwork lately, these are created using purely my intuition as a guide.

When I sit down at my dining room table or my lawn chair in the yard and open up to a blank page, I don't know how it's going to look when I'm finished. I'm often pleasantly surprised! So, in no particular order, here are a few of my recent daily pages. I've recently switched to a smaller book so the detail and scope of these is a bit different than what I normally post.

What have you been up to lately? Have you gone and checked out my last post where I share video peeks in to my daily page process? If not, please do and let me know what you think!

Beltane, Birthdays and Breathing

How in the blazes did it get to be the 9th already? Where has this month gone? I suppose it's been sucked up by all the things we've been up to lately.

My Beltane wasn't all that I had planned, since it turned rainy, cold and windy before I made it home from work. But I made the most of it all the same, with food and drink and offerings at the altar. With laughter, love and candle fire. I burned away things I wished to be rid of and sent my wishes skyward on smoke and ash, just on a smaller scale than the bonfire I had hoped for.

Joe's birthday came on Ocho de Mayo but we celebrated on the 4th, after a visit to our local comic book shop for Free Comic Book Day.

May the Fourth be with you!


Snippets from the party. The rain refused to let up all week and so our luau/fiesta was forced inside and under umbrellas.


The birthday boy and I on his actual birthday. 

I finally had a few moments to take a breath this afternoon and sit down with my animal guide in SouLodge for the month of May, Hummingbird. I'll be honest, while the Lodge and the tribe has worked with the medicines of several different animal guides and done various exercises in the North and East quadrants of the Medicine Wheel, I've stayed wrapped up with Grandmother Bear this whole time. I also worked with Buffalo a little bit, but Bear was where I felt I needed to stay for a while. To do the deep work. And I trusted her to let me go when the time was right, I trusted myself and my intuition to lead me down this path in the manner which best suits me. And this month, before I even opened the prompt, I've seen a few beautiful hummingbirds in my yard and felt the tug of energy, of vitality. Like Spring had blown her warm breath deep into my center and warmed and awoken me from the inside out. And Bear let me go, to awaken and soar with hummingbird; to be reborn and to do the energetic healing that comes after the deepest wounds have been faced and the hardest inner battles won.

This connection with the flying rainbow may very well explain my recent draw towards all things intensely vibrant and colorful lately. We'll see. I bet most of you had even forgotten I was doing SouLodge, since it's been ages since I've posted about it. But, if the only lessons I take from this year long journey are to ruthlessly trust myself and my feelings and to know that I am exactly where I need to be (especially in regards to being attuned with the seasons) then that is more than enough. Anything else is a blessed bonus.

Merry May Day

Now the bright morning star, day's harbinger,
Comes dancing from the east and leads with her The flowery May,
who from her green lap throws The yellow cowslip, and the pale primrose.
Hail, bounteous May, that doth inspire Mirth, and youth, and warm desire;
Woods and groves are of thy dressing, Hill and dale doth boast thy blessing,
Thus we salute thee with our early song,
And welcome thee, and wish thee long.

John Milton Quotes , Source: Song--On May Morning

Merry May Day and Blessed Beltane!

Sun and Earth are reunited and Spring is very much in the air. The scent of warm earth wafts by on cool spring breezes, the greenery is lush and vibrant nearly to bursting. Baby animals are emerging from their holes and nests, wobbly on newly discovered legs and wings.

My smile has been nearly constant, which is usually the case at this time of year. Something in the energies gets in to me and I'm nearly on fire, unfurling like a fern and coming out of my long Winter's hibernation completely. My head is clearing and I'm starting to spend less time there, preferring to get in to my body more and more; taking the time to really feel everything and relishing the sensations. Eating lighter meals, drinking lighter drinks. Getting on my hands and knees in the dirt, walking the paths and roadways in the early morning light and last rays of evening sun. Working the aches and pains out of my joints and letting my hair hang loose. (It's funny, because I wear my hair up almost all Winter and let it down in the Summer.)

For the first time since moving down South, Spring has unfurled slowly and luxuriously, taking her time warming up and reaching her climax rather than rushing to get it over with as quickly as possible. The days have been warm and the nights chilly, my roses have only just bloomed (usually they're out before my birthday - if they died back at all.) and the leaves of the trees didn't burst over night. It's the Spring of my youth and my growing years, the one that lasts and lets me savor it and drink it in.

And that's what I plan to do today, as much as possible. To revel in the warm Spring sun kissing my face, watching the clouds as the birds and the bees sing their sweet songs. And once the light has dwindled, to drink vodka I infused with fruits myself, share a glass of wine or three with the fae, make my offering and toast to the Gods and this beautiful, full life of mine. That which no longer serves me will be purged from my life by fire and my wishes for fertility of all kinds will be whisked to the Heavens on sparks and ash.

And while doing those, I'm going to take the time to reflect on and appreciate the love that I have for myself and for others as well as the love that I receive. When I began walking this path nearly a decade ago, hell even 5 years ago, I would never have expected to be where I am now in the love department; especially when it comes loving myself. It's something to celebrate and there's no better day I can think of to do so than this, with it being a festival of love and all.

May your May Day be blessed and full of love; for yourself and for others. May what you sow today come to bountiful fruition in Autumn and May you be blessed with whichever form of Fertility you desire most in your life.