If there is one constant in my blog habits, one thing that always rings true about my blog circle, it is that when I visit Aine at The Deepest Well, I find words that make me think, make me feel deeply or that are the exact thing I needed to hear without knowing it until it happened. Regardless of whether I comment, I always have thoughts bubbling in my head after I read Aine's writings. Today is no different except that I have enough thoughts bubbling around after reading A Time of Knowing that I didn't want to leave a novel in her comments.
Thank you Aine, for the inspiration to write.
Always, there seem to be trends among circles of peers and similar thinkers. Like others in this circle of witches and writers, pagans and thinkers, I have not written much about my spirituality of late; save for the occasional full moon or sabbat posting.
The truth of the matter is, there hasn't been much to write about because I've taken a break from learning, reading, growing and exploring. I've been lounging in my spiritual hammock in the shade of a familiar old grove I've seen many times on my path. To use Aine's words, I'm in a time of knowing.
Ruthlessly trusting my intuition, my knowing without reason, is something I've been working towards in other aspects of my life for nearly a year now. It started with art; baby steps back in to a place within myself I didn't question when I was a babe but grew mistrustful and jaded towards as I became older. Then it trickled in to other aspects of my life; relationships, jobs, how I spend my free time. That last one sounds a bit odd, but when one has been reared in a society that sees time not being outwardly productive as wasted, one needs to work hard to relax and breath when one's body/intuition begs them to do so.
And so, it's only natural that as I begin to retrace steps back in to that place of just knowing in other aspects of my life, that it would eventually become a part of my spiritual path. After all, as a highly eclectic human, compartmentalizing aspects of my life or myself has never worked out very well.
And so, I've stopped searching. I've quit reading and researching. The forks in the road have disappeared for the time being. Does this mean they'll never resume? No, not at all. To me, the reading, the searching, the setting out on new paths are very much like the spirit's version of bodily travel. Physically, we take trips to explore, to experience new things, see new sights and meet new people. To grow and to fill ourselves with knowledge, opinions and experiences we can't get if we stand still. But, these trips typically have a circular conclusion; Homecoming.
Right back where you've always belonged, right where you began. Sometimes, it just seems to take a long, winding route to get there. In a spiritual sense, sometimes it takes a lot of searching, reading and walking new paths to recognize and trust in what you know, rather than what you wish to believe. So many believe things are better elsewhere, that other methods are better than their own. That these thoughts or those practices are somehow holier or more spiritual. And they think that if they believe so ardently, then it is true. In the end, after the trials and travels, many of them end up knowing that this isn't the case.
I'm not saying this is the case for everyone's spiritual (or life) path as I can only speak to my own experiences. While I haven't been on this path as long as some, it seems to me that no matter what I learn and try, no matter what I read and think, it's the things I've always known, deep in the bones of my admittedly short life, that I keep coming back to. The things that work best and resonate deepest with me are those that I know, rather than those I believe.
These are the things that I always come home to. The simple truths housed in my intuition. The quiet, spirit led rituals. Concoctions and spell work advised from an unexplainable knowing rather than advice, a ledger or a grimoire. After connecting with many spirits, deities, paths and customs it is back to the Gods of my youth, to the spirits of the wildwood, the gifts and teachings of Earth, Sea and Sky that I've come back to. I'm reigning myself back in, regrouping and recharging after years of stretching myself incredibly thin on a quest for knowledge, growth and deeper spiritual wisdom.
My path has circled back and I've come Home.