Since finding Taryn's little weekly ritual, I've noticed a real shift in my perspectives. Which sounds cheesy and a bit cliche, in fact a few years ago my younger Gothier self would have mocked me for doing this, but it is nonetheless true. Perhaps this is a sign of aging, of growing up and maturing, but personally I like to think it's a sign that I'm finally falling comfortably in to my own life and getting the hang of self-love and simple, wild hearted living: something I've aspired to for quite a while. There are avenues of thinking and feeling opening within me that I haven't felt in over a decade, light chasing the darkness away and sweeping out the cobwebs. A sense of contentedness and a reconnection with nature and myself, a knowledge that even though sometimes things suck, my life is beautiful and amazing and I am so very, very blessed.
I've even been doing an ok job of keeping up with my (sort of) daily practice of writing down the things for which I am grateful before bed in my little journal with the bee on the cover. As someone who is terrible at sticking to a routine, even if I log just one item a day or several items twice in one week, I'll take it, I won't beat myself up and I'll revel in the goodness in my life. It's helping me let go of so many bad things, so many painful memories and twitchiness and I couldn't be any more shocked and pleased with this process.
This Week I am Grateful For:
* Being brave and stepping outside of my comfort zone despite my best efforts to weasel out of things, run for the hills and hide in my little comfort cave. Joe and several of our friends have invited me out to the range to shoot with them a few times, but having never shot a firearm before I was terrified and nervous and always turned them down. So, for Christmas, they gifted me with a lesson with a man who is incredibly patient and very good with teaching people who are nervous. I finally took my lesson on Monday, and I tried to weasel out of it the entire drive to the range, but Joe saw through my none-too-clever ruse and helped me walk in the door. Once I had met with the fellow for the lesson and fired off a round or two (and doing very well!), I found I was a lot more comfortable with the experience than I anticipated. Both hubster and my teacher were impressed with my shooting, my only marks outside the 8 ring happening at the very end when I was tired from the anxiety and weight of the firearm and wasn't focusing as well on my breathing. I don't know that it will be a new favorite hobby, but knowledge and comfort are power and I'll take them!
* Greeting the sun in the mornings as it crests over the trees in the yard.
* Flavoring water with fresh lime and mint. OMG, I have been guzzling this like it's my job! So good.
* Being able to go home from work early to celebrate Joe's birthday with him. We feasted on Indian Food, hung out in our beautiful yard, relaxed and just enjoyed the day. Having him love the gift I was brave enough to have done and then needed to be brave enough to actually give him - professional boudoir shots. As someone who has never had stellar self esteem and numerous body issues this was a huge deal for me to go ahead and do this. Much like the shooting lesson, my fear gremlin tried to have me weasel out of it right up until I got to the photographers place. Once I'd rang her doorbell however, there was no turning back. Even more grateful that he not only loved them, but acknowledged how hard it must have been for me to go through with doing it at all.
The birthday boy on the phone with his nieces, while giving me and my sparklers incredulous looks!
* Going downtown to Artisphere with some of my lady friends Friday evening to check out all of the art and performers. We stopped at the local distillery to sip on some Moonshine, then ate dessert before dinner and we all ended up coming home with at least one piece of art. There was a lot of laughing, some bannister riding, some dancing in our chairs at a Mexican restaurant and a ton of pictures taken.
* Love. Lovin'. Being loved.
* Hubster making me a decadently delicious cheeseburger for lunch while I was taking a break from yard work. Nothing says love quite like a grilled burger with feta, lettuce and a handmade balsamic & honey glaze. Yum!
* Evenings cuddled up on the couch, falling asleep on my love with the fur babies curled up against me.
* Making time for the things that nourish my soul: getting outside, making art and working through SouLodge.
* Evening walks with Luna.
* Great finds at the Farmers Market. We tasted our way through quite a few cheeses and salsas and ended up picking up all of these scrummy local goodies - all for under $35!
* Pretty flowers and the smell of freshly bloomed roses covered in warm rain.
* New plants in the garden! Getting most of my weeding and pruning done, getting the new babies in the ground. Having things look and feel amazing.
* Warm showers and basic yoga stretches to soothe sore muscles.
* My handy husband fixing a rotten spot in the soffet without having to replace the whole board and gutter on the front and side of the house. Love being married to such a handy man!
* Scoring a new-to-us ride on mower that actually runs and does a great job cutting the grass for $150! This might not sound terribly exciting, but Joe's been cutting our acre+ with a push mower for the past two years. While the exercise is great, finding 2 hours at a time to cut the lawn can be a bit bothersome at times.
* Sucking it up and calling my mom after several months of not doing so because I'm stubborn as all get out. Actually having a very pleasant and lengthy conversation after the initial awkward "hey, what's up, it's been a while" phase.
* Blue skies, ridiculously perfect clouds. Just soaking up Spring time.