So Long, 2011.

Compared to 2010 which was a whirlwind of change and activity, 2011 was a pretty low key year. My brother moved down here and briefly stayed with us (and as much as I love him, I'm glad he's moved out!) and my sister made me an aunt for the very first time, to a beautiful baby girl.

We searched for a few months for our first house and I'm pleased to say that a last minute change of my mind as to where I wanted to live brought us to the perfect home for us. We made the decision to get ourselves out of debt, which led to me finding a part time job (that has been not so part time) and re-affirming my knowledge that no matter where you live, or what you may have heard about a place, people are still asshats. While I've not made many friends down here, I've become more comfortable with myself and just hanging out alone; making steps back towards the happy go lucky loner I used to be.

I've taken my One Word for 2011 to heart and let go of a lot of the feelings and material things that I no longer needed. Some were burned away by fire, others were let go to the wind. Some were donated to charity and some found their way to the rubbish bin. I've cleaned house and my heart and made room for the things that are worth holding on to; while I never received formal closure to some wounds, I no longer need it. I'm still working on letting go, both of things in the past and the present and so I won't be leaving this in 2011. This little phrase is something that will stick with me and become a mantra of sorts; a sort of road map back to a happiness in which not a single fuck was given about what someone thought of me. I'm letting go of the stigmas and the fears and just embracing me. A fairy loving, tree hugging, dirt worshipping wife, woman and witch with a wild (yet slightly timid) heart, a fondness for earth and ale and a (sometimes cruel) sarcastic streak.

Which leads me into 2012's word(s), which build upon the foundation that I laid in 2011. These two, to me, go hand in hand because one cannot happen without the other. And they are:

Heal

1. To restore to health or soundness; cure.
2. To set right; repair,
3. To restore or be restored to friendly relations, harmony, etc.
4. To restore (a person) to spiritual wholeness.

I plan to heal from the traumas and injustices from my past. To restore the faiths and beliefs I've lost along the way. I want to restore my faith in myself; to know that my true, soulful, and genuine self is the best person I can ever be. And that I should never, ever apologize for any of it.

And in so doing, I plan to:

Flourish

1. To grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, esp. as the result of a particularly favorable environment
2. To be in one's prime; be at the height of fame, excellence, influence, etc.
3. To be successful; prosper.
4. To grow luxuriantly, or thrive in growth, as a plant.

As in, to let the best parts of me grow, while the worst parts of me are left behind to wither away. I'm actually working on one of those 30 by 30 bucket lists for this year, to start on my 29th birthday. It may sound a bit ambitious, perhaps a bit like I'm setting myself up for disappointment, but I have this feeling in my guts that 2012 is going to be a big year for me. Even if it doesn't seem so big from the outside.

Here's a toast to the shiny new year! May it be filled with all the changes, dreams, growth and love you can handle.

P.S. Is anyone else picking one word or making a resolution this year?
P.P.S. What sort of recap would this be without a wee bit more photo sharing? Here are some snaps from 2011.

Merry Christmas!

Santa Claus by N.C. Wyeth


There's something nostalgic and childlike about Christmas that I've really grown to love. In the morning we'll get out of bed, open our gifts and spend the rest of the day loafing about munching on cookies and watching our favorite Christmas movies. This is the first year I won't be spending any portion of the holidays with my family and while I'm a little bit bummed out, I'm also looking forward to not having to go anywhere at all.

May you all have the merriest of Christmases, no matter how or why you celebrate it. May your day be jolly and your hearts unburdened because there's no doubt about it; Christmas is magic.

Hope the big man is good to you all!

Yuletide Night

We had a great midwinter here. There was beef stew, chocolate/banana trifle, fresh beer bread and wassail to feast upon and while it was relatively warm, we went ahead and lit the fire anyway. We exchanged a single simple gift and then I went off to sit by the candle light of my altar for a while.

I lit my white candle and welcomed back the reborn sun. I gave thanks to the darkness for holding me close and allowing me to see things unseen by the harsh bright light and asked that it continue to teach me, for it would always be welcome.

I lit the red candle and bid farewell to the fallen King of Holly and lit green to welcome the King of Oak. Then I sat in quiet contemplation of what I would like to see happen in the next 12 months; as Yule is a celebration of rebirth I like to think of the things I'd change in order to be 'reborn' myself. I lit the candles to seal my resolutions and shared some wine with the spirits and kings. I left the candles burning and went outside beneath the cloudy night to leave my offerings to the woods and the spirits.

Still being fairly early by Yule standards, we sat down to watch some of our favorite Christmas movies and I fell asleep on the couch, curled up with my love and the kitties.

Yule Blessings

On this longest of nights, may you find peace and solace in the dark.
May you share the joy and laughter of loved ones,
and find warmth even here, at Midwinter.

As the light is reborn take time to reflect
and leave that which is no longer needed,
Here. In the darkness.

The Holly king has fallen, the Oak king has risen. The king is dead. Long live the king!

Warm Wishes and blessings a plenty to you and yours this Solstice. May you have a very merry night!

Yule Tree and Memories

When we first put up the tree, I had every intention of decking it out in white lights, much the same as our artificial tree. What I hadn't taken into consideration however, was the fact that this tree is easily twice as round and full as our fake one. We made it about a 3rd of the way before we ran out and needed to go out for more lights. Despite our trying four or five stores, we couldn't find a single strand of white lights and so, we switched to colored. Not really a big deal, it's been years since I've had a tree with colored lights; both Joe and I grew up with trees decked out as such.

So he strung the lights and I broke out the boxes of ornaments, carefully unpacking the familiar baubles and trinkets. We put on some Christmas music, poured some wine and hung all of our ornaments. We had a great time of it, bobbing around the tree and past each other to find the perfect branch for each treasure. When we finished we sat back to admire our work and I burst into tears. Last year, I talked a bit about my issues with the holiday season in this post; apparently I still have a few unresolved feelings and issues that came to a head after what was otherwise a beautiful evening.

You see, it's not that the tree is ugly or offensive (although white lights tend to make photography a bit easier!), it's the fact that this tree reminded me so very, very much of all of the trees I had growing up. It stirred the pot of memories, both good and bad, and drudged up all sorts of feelings that I just let out. Luckily, this bought of Christmas blues was short lived and I felt worlds better in just an hour or so. Now, I can sit back and just enjoy the tree.

Here's a peek at some of our tree's treasures:

Festive Familiars

Since we were throwing a party Saturday night where tacky sweaters were the dress code AND I happened to find tiny festive bow ties while out and about, I had no choice but to dress the kitties up as well!

Chico took well to his dapper attire, posing like a regal cat.


Molly, on the other hand, was not amused and didn't mind letting me know how he felt!

Hope you all had an awesome weekend and enjoyed the last full moon of the year.

Welcome to Glitterville

Happy Yuletide ball, fellow witches and partiers! Have yourselves a cup of warm wassail and let's join the denizens of Glitterville as they prepare for the upcoming holidays.

Glitterville is a sleepy little hamlet that rests upon my mantle. Assembled from cereal boxes, scrapbook paper and bric-a-brac, the town takes its name from the ever present shimmer of snow upon the rooftops.



A couple, off to visit friends stops to say 'Hello!'



While over there, another pair gets ready to a'wassailing go!



A dapper gent tips his hat in amazement at a sight...



For Santa Claus has made a surprise trip to Glitterville tonight!

Here is the recipe I'll be using for my own Wassail, for those who care to try it.

Ingredients:
2 Qt Apple Cider
2 Qt Red Wine (optional)
2 Cups Orange Juice
1/2 Cup Lemon Juice
13 Cloves
5 Cinnamon Sticks
A sprinkle or two each of nutmeg and ginger.
2 - 3 Oranges, sliced thin into rounds.

In a large pot, over low heat combine the cider, orange juice and lemon juice. Add spices in a cheesecloth bag (or not, but remember to strain before serving) along with orange slices. Let simmer 1 hour. Remove spices (strain) and add wine, allow to simmer for 1 hour more. Serve warm with cinnamon sticks or fresh orange slices as garnish.

Be sure to visit the other Yuletide Ball parties by visiting the party page here:

The War Over Winter

Let's face it, the holiday season can be rough. Stringing lights, making enough food to feed a small army, being stuck in traffic on the roads and in the shops and dealing with in-laws and distant relations is enough to make even the most sane person reach for a happy pill or some liquid courage. Regardless of your religious leanings, you too will be forced to deal with at least some of the holiday madness; unless you never leave your house.

Now add to this the anxiety that occurs over a simple exchange of what should be pleasantry. You say, "Happy Holidays" to someone, either because you don't know what they celebrate and don't want to make assumptions or you're putting whatever winter holiday they do (or do not) celebrate into a nice little bundle with New Year's. In return, you'll most likely receive a 'You too!' which can range from lake bottom frigid to Midsummer warm but you may run into a viper who can't help but say something along the lines of 'It's Christmas!' in an overly indignant manner. If you work in retail or with the public, you know what I'm talking about. If you've been in the shops at this time of year, you may have seen this snake strike out at a hapless clerk who was just trying to be nice.

To these people I say; get the fuck over it. The fact that Christmas comes at the end of the month (just a week before New Year's) has not escaped my notice in my 28 years on Earth. In fact, despite my being a pagan, I celebrate it with my friends and family. Who can't get behind the idea of swapping gifts beneath a glittery tree with friends, family and hot chocolate laced with peppermint shnapps? What's that you say? I forgot the 'Christ' part of Christmas? Of course I did, I worship other gods and honor other traditions just like all of those other folks who also celebrate other holidays. You know, the ones you cram your Christmas down the throats of.

Let me ask you something, Christmas Crazy, if I were to wish you a Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Eid (when it falls in December), Happy Festivus or A Happy Yule during those holiday's times of celebration this month, would you react with as much grace and dignity as the rest of us? I doubt it, because you're batshit crazy. On the other hand, if some pimply kid at the cash register smiles and wishes me a Merry Christmas, rather than pointing the finger and yelling 'USURPER OF YULE!' at him and ranting and raving about the return of the Sun and the Triumph of the Oak King I smile warmly and wish him one as well. And do you know why? Because that kindness means more than the words that were spoken; if someone sincerely wishes me well, that is what counts. Because those simple kindnesses are few and far between in our increasingly cold, greedy and self serving population. Just ask the people who were pepper sprayed and beaten up over towels at Walmart on Black Friday. Towels, folks.

In a time when people use methods of self defense in order to buy the cheapest quality shit they can lay hands on, we should be grateful for each and every act of kindness we receive; regardless of that person's spirituality, looks, etc. If someone is willing to make eye contact and be warm, you've hit the momentary jackpot. Because personally - as someone who works as a lowest level employee in one of those evil banks right now (because I enjoy things like electricity and eating) and has at least a handful of people a week accuse me of personally stealing their money (in the form of fees) when they overdraft for my personal million dollar a year bonus - I don't say a damn word of holiday cheer. I don't need anymore dirty looks or ugliness to be tossed in my general direction and so, in true Grinch fashion, I'll only wish you a nice day. Which is truly, a bit sad.

So this year, while you're strung out on Starbucks and running a million and one errands to get yourself through the season with not a tear to be shed by anyone (including yourself) take into account that not everyone celebrates the same holidays (or celebrates your holiday for the same reason) as you. If someone wishes you a Happy Holiday/Merry Christmas/Wonderful Winter, sincerely thank them and move on with your day. I celebrate Yule, which will never, ever be something that I am wished a 'very merry' by in a public forum and I'm cool with that. And if I (and numerous other pagans/heathens/witches/etc) can be, then so can you.

Also, some more food for thought. This season, why don't we all take that 'Good will toward man' thing seriously. Because regardless of your religious belief, it's just a damn fine rule for being human! Let's put away the pitchforks and torches. Quit the mud slinging. And no one should be saying "Christ" or get the fuck out, like this asshat who clearly needs to pick up a history book and learn about the why's of certain traditions, symbols and phrases added to our country's wording:

I could say so many things about this, but Kallan over at The Secret Life of an American Working Witch has already cited enough references and reasons that this person should take down their sign and be ashamed - even outside of it just plain being an ugly sentiment. So I'll leave you with this - quit associating holly leaves (which I hold dear at this season) with your ignorance and learn to practice what Christ taught. Because, I doubt he'd be proud of you right now.

Finding the Yule Tree

Strapped for time and in no mood to make the 1+ hour drive to North Carolina to cut my tree down myself, we visited a local family-owned tree stand to search for our first live Yule tree this past weekend. When we moved in together, I made up a silly rule that we couldn't have a real tree until we found Home. Now that we've done that, I was excited to go find our frasier fir!

Ignore the eye-bags of exhaustion, please.

Success! He's up and decorated, I just need to borrow a camera to snap some photos since the wee point and shoot won't focus on him. I think perhaps, we made him a bit too shiny. :)

At the end of the season, part of our tree will become our yule log for next year. And with that, the Yule preparations have begun at our house.