Friday, January 15, 2010

Less cycles and a disease

Let me tell you, some of the gynecology offices in my town are staffed with incredibly rude people. I haven't gone to the gynecologist in an embarrassingly long time and my newly developed cyst was the swift kick in the ass I needed to find a doctor and make an appointment.

I called around to a few of the highest recommended offices in my town to inquire about new patients and was hung up on, informed that no matter the reason they had no appointments until July and when I inquired as to other offices in the area to try I was given a lot of grief. The final office I called is the one I decided to go with as the woman on the phone was helpful, sympathetic, and incredibly knowledgeable. As an added bonus she even squeezed me in yesterday afternoon.

When I met the doctor I instantly liked her. She came in, introduced herself and chatted with me as a friend and not just a doctor. She interviewed me about my current condition, my cycles, pains that I have and when, mood swings I have and when they occur... she was very detailed, thorough and when I couldn't quite get the words out would ask me the same question in a different way to make sure she understood exactly what I was trying to get across. It's often hard for me to describe feelings of discomfort and pain when they aren't happening currently.

After the exam I was given two diagnoses, the first is that I very definitely suffer from premenstrual dysphoric disorder. The second and more upsetting diagnosis is that I have endometriosis. My case is classical, I have pains at all the right times during my cycles, tenderness in all the right places. It's incurable but it can be treated and blessedly, mine seems to be mild.

After discussing my options for treatment my doctor and I decided that the best route to take at this point is to put me on birth control which will reduce the frequency of my periods to just 4 times a year. It's a little scary to me, since I'm used to getting it every single month like clockwork, but if I don't cycle as frequently then I can't build up as much scar tissue from the disease. We decided on this because while I don't wish to get pregnant right now, I'd like to have children some day. The more scar tissue you build up, the greater your chances of becoming infertile are.

When the doctor diagnosed me yesterday, I took it very well. I didn't even flinch. In the last 24 hours I've retreated into my brain while I juggle several emotions; confusion, sadness, worry, anger. It's hit me that I have a disease that has no cure and that I will have this for the rest of my life. Treatments range from simply taking birth control pills unless trying to conceive or pregnant to surgical procedures involving invasive techniques and scrapings to a full hysterectomy. It's something that weighs heavily on me as a maiden woman who would like to bridge the gap to motherhood when the time is right. It weighs heavily on me as something that will be a part of me until menopause or the removal of organs.

I plan to spend the weekend in meditation and relaxation. Take long soothing baths and commune with the element that rules my heart, sit outside if the weather is mild and ground with Earth's calming steady power. I plan to think, create, sleep and to just make time for me and no one else.


  1. My heart goes out to you. I sometimes forget in this day of cursing the NHS how lucky we are in the UK to actually have a system that is there for all regardless.

    On your health issues, hold in there. Yes I know it hurts (like hell) and it makes you worry but life has a funny way of working out fine.

    I suffer badly from PCOS and have had cysts, abnormal cancerous cells etc etc. Was told that the pain was only curable with painkillers, so in effect only masking not getting rid off. Oh and that after several bouts with gyobn section that I wouldn't have kids.

    I now have a very lively 4yr old and the pain, though still occasionally there is very very rare. The best bit, the 4yrold was completely unplanned and only a month into meeting my partner!

    Thoughts and wishes with you. Jen

    ps I found that ginger infussions helped a lot with easing the tension and pain.

  2. I'm very sorry to hear this. =( Things like this seem to be becoming far more unfortunately common among women I know. I will think positively for you that the birth control will be an effective treatment, especially for your mild case. Hang in there, Danni.

  3. {{HUGS}}
    I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 25 and PCOS when I was 28. I was told that my chances of ever having children was about 5% and now I have two beautiful girls.

    The good news is you have a diagnosis and with the pill it will help manage the pain.

  4. Danni my heart goes out to you. Yet hold in there as you were diagnosed and are starting on a treatment which hopefully will be as far as you need to go. I like the idea of your weekend... it sounds like a relaxing time, something I am sure you will enjoy. blessings

  5. Sending healing thoughts your way. Try to remain calm and positive. I feel it deep into my heart that everything is going to be okay.
    Brightest blessings.

  6. Danni: first I would like to thank you for your lovely words of encouragement to me. I so appreciate your concern.
    second....I know that you are suffering from a shock. At your tender age it is hard to hear that something will be with you 4 ever. I am an old broad so when I say this I hope you will take it as crone advice....sweetie, as the others have said by way of conception of lovely children when they were told that couldn't.....doctors don't always know Jack. I was told 35 years ago that if I didn't have a complete hysterectomy I would die from uterine cysts becoming cancerous or septic. Well, hasn't hit yet dearie. I'm not advising not to follow doctors advice, but with all things, meditate on it, consider all the possibilities and is up to you, no one else. I will of course be sending you positive, calming thoughts. Linda

  7. Hi~ I'm so sorry you're going though this!

    I wish you all the best in finding the right treatment. I myself have had problems my whole life, but since I had my second child they've gotten much, much worse. My cycles are still off.. but I'm getting better at understanding what it all means.

    I did find the most help from a doctor I've never met - Dr. Christiane Northrup. If you can, maybe check out her website or her book Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom or The Wisdom of Menopause.

    I've found, in the past, that castor oil packs help quite a bit, along with a high veggie, low sugar diet and lots of time in the sun!

    The trick is learning to read our emotional guidance systems.. when we can't our bodies will start showing symptoms. When we change our diets and reduce stress (increasing our vibrational levels) it's easier for the messages to come through, or I should say it's easier for us to 'hear' them...

    Sending you lots of white light healing energy~

  8. I did want to say too (sorry to ramble..)

    I tried the pills (sesonal - 4x a year cycle) it didn't work. And then the doctors decided to stop my cycles all together, thus pushing me into early menopause.


    I don't even really recommend the 4x a year pills.. although I did try them.

    There are so many natural remedies to try first. I know it may sound weird, but try doing the castor oil pack one night and during the hour you have it on ask your body what would help to heal it.. It will tell you!

  9. Danni, I'm so sorry and I hope that you'll be able to achieve motherhood. Take care of you're self and keep going strong.

    I also have PMDD and i know exactly how that can effect you're everyday life. I'm taking prozac for it now and I'm soo much better!


  10. I am really glad you were able to find someone to see you. Our healthcare is like this. "Free" but no one can fit you in - and if you have a doctor (no matter how awful she is) no one else will see you!

    I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but am glad she wants to help you as far as ensuring you can still have children if you wish.

    Sending you lots of good energy!

  11. My heart goes out to you, Danni.

    Big hugs!



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