My strongest connection to the Divine Feminine is through Gaia; Mother Earth. From the time I was a small girl I can remember laying on her grassy body watching clouds and whispering my hopes, dreams and fears to her... letting her swirling Autumn leaves carry my heart on their backs, running to her sandy shores so salty tears could meet salty seas and heal my wounds in the most natural of ways. I've let her hold me close and wrap me up; been nourished from her bosom and nurtured in her quiet spaces.
So naturally, when I began the process of creating in my journal yesterday images of her green skin, tight belly and breastmilk as life giving waters sprang to mind... and I worked on this, beautiful icons of this Mother of ours. But beautiful as they were, they didn't sit right with my heart. I was holding back, feeling resistance and sticking to the safety of her arms. And deep down in the pit of my guts, I knew she was trying to come through in another guise. To present herself to me in a way which would make me uncomfortable... in, of all things, a spiral.
And as those colors swirled over the icons, I felt resistance; my mind clung to them. But as the last bit was gently swallowed by the spiral, I relaxed and surrendered to the process and to her call.
The Great Transformer - The one who comes to us in the dark and guides us back in to our light. The one whose womb has born untold life and to whose womb we must all one day return - to be held and transformed in the in-between space. To she who gives life. Connected to each of us in the endless cycle of birth, life and death.
I've always connected to her as the one who Sustains life, never to the one who gives or who holds space for us in-between. And now, with my own womb growing life, I feel that she's calling me to join her in other forms; to step on this path from maidenhood to motherhood while holding her gentle hands.