But, as is often the case, life had other plans and while I was painting up a storm, sitting down and writing felt so very heavy and taxing. Like it was going to ruin my flow to attach all this meaning to things as they progressed. And so, I didn't write the updates I was initially hoping to. And you know what? I'm OK with that. I'd rather have nothing written than have it sound forced.
That being said, DEEP officially ended a few weeks back but my painting is still hanging on the wall. I don't have photos of it in it's most current and, most likely, finished state but I have some that are pretty close. It's been an interesting journey, from a door sketched on to a small paper to it's current incarnation. The painting still wants me to add to it, to work in some details and go even deeper in to the juicy stuff it's got for me. And I'm cool with that. It's no rush, I don't need the wall space for anything else at the moment and I'm curious to see what else it needs. I'll update on it again at some point in the future when it's finished and I've had time to really sit and reflect on it. For now though, I'm content with just looking back at its evolution without applying too much meaning to it. So, here's a look back at it:
What I will say though, is that while I was initially terrified of going through this process, I'm incredibly grateful that I didn't close the first video and walk away from my computer like my fear initially drove me to. I'm so glad that I came back, sat with Connie and the rest of my painting sisters, talked it out and worked up the courage to just begin. When we began, I was a bit like "I don't get how this will help me with my painting practice... just one piece for 6 weeks." I was skeptical, at best. But looking back now, I realize that not only did this draw me deeper in to my painting practice, making it a priority and cementing my relationship with art even further, but it also helped me to be a bit more brave and to get better at ruthlessly trusting my intuition. So what if my brain says, "NO! I don't like it!"? If my heart and my guts are saying 'Yes!', then that's where I need to go.
Mostly this has happened with my art, but I can see it breaking in to other aspects of my life as well. So once more, I can truly say, art can change your life. It has mine.