Friday, July 13, 2012

Not Quite Dead Yet

(Oh Monty Python, what would I do without you?)

Lately, I've been doing that thing that I do when there is too much going on and I need to dial it back. I've been cocooning myself up in art and literature, recollecting myself at the end of the day and tossing anything seemingly extraneous to the wind. Unfortunately, writing has been one of those things lately and while I miss it, I'm not going to let it stress me out.

My weight's been being tossed around a bit more than usual and I'm really stepping up my game in the social departments of work and life. Saturday I sat down with my boss and basically said, cut the shit or I'm done. I'm a good person and will work my ass of but I'm done being taken advantage of. Normally, I'm the girl who tries to please everyone but you know what? I'm running short on time and patience these days, so I'm just going to start telling it like it is and quit beating around the bush. A plus side to this whole being more vocal and less shy thing is I've been making greater efforts to connect with new people and make some friends.

I've given up on trying to balance everything I want to do in a day/week - it's impossible. I can't have equal amounts of time for everything I'd like to do and still sleep. So, I'm instead learning to focus on finding a sort of harmony that I can be happy with. Maybe some days I'll paint for 3 - 4 hours and not clean. Maybe others, I'll clean and go hang out with friends and not paint at all. Some days I'll sleep in and not weed the garden and others I'll get up at the ass crack of dawn and greet Apollo with coffee in hand. Some weeks I'll have loads of time to fuss with my altar and get outside for a few hours to bask in momma's glow and others I'll only have time to light a candle or smile at a crow. And you know what? Those are all perfectly ok... I just need to understand and accept that and be kind to myself.

Speaking of art and painting for hours, I'm into week 2 of BIG and let me tell you, so far it has been worth every cent and every minute of the time I've put in to it. I've got a lot to say about that and a long ass story to share about the memory painting I did this week, about how it really got deep in me and helped me realize and come to terms with things that I'm going to write up and share soon enough. It's been really powerful, magical stuff.

And now that I've rambled on for a bit.. here's the past week in photos, complete with juicy bits I didn't mention above! ;)

The desk in my studio, shot so it looks a lot more tidy than it really is!

Luna's public debut and first trip to the park! She was really good with all the other dogs, but we need to work a LOT on not jumping on people. *sigh*

Painty fingers! Was working on a large painting for both the Summer of Color and Dirty Footprint Studio's Total Alignment prompt: Energize.

The impulse purchase of the year... a brand spanking new car! It was actually a very hard decision for me, because I traded in my SUV, which was the first and only thing I bought and paid off all on my own. But in the end, it was high mileage, bad on gas and had a enough issues that it would have cost way too much to repair her. So, this is my sporty new eco friendly ride.

P.S. In less than 24 hours, my two best friends will be here to stay with me for a whole week! These are the two girls who know literally everything about me, who don't take my shit and don't sugar coat things with me. The two people I know I can go forever and a day without seeing and pick up right where we left off, no questions asked. We've been getting into trouble together for 25 years and I cannot wait for them to get here!!


  1. You deserve a good time with friends. Have fun....Oma

  2. That car looks worthy of a "My Super Sweet 16" episode. It needs a spoiled teenage girl that comes with it whining, "But Daddy! I WANT it!" :P

  3. Revelations and epiphanies, these are good things. Congrats on the new car, it looks great to scoot around in. Have a blast with your friends, you deserve it.

  4. Wish I had rocking g.f.'s like you do, Danni. Maybe someday and good for you in laying down boundaries with the work situation. It sounds like you're doing really good self-mothering and taking care of darling Luna at the same time.

  5. I know you are enjoying your time with your Jersey girls, what's not to love! As for Luna and the jumping, that is a really common issue with babies her age. The best advice I can give you as far as training this out of her is to have the person she is jumping on raise their leg and gently knee her chest. Basically, her chest will be touched by the person's knee. If that doesn't work, just have the person turn around and walk away while you get her into a sit.

    You will find balance or it will find you, things always work out that way.


  6. Wow- life has you rocking but in some wonderful ways.
    Congratulations on a new family member and with lots of love, patience and persistent consistency that jumping will only be for joy when Luna sees you.

    Enjoy your visit with old friends. The best!


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