On the Twenty-Seventh day of Hallowe'en...

As Samhain draws closer, I've been thinking more and more about what I'd like to take with me into the magical new year and what I'd like to leave behind. Each year, after the trick-or-treaters and Hallowe'en revelers have gone to count candy and to sleep I slip off to the sanctuary of my altar to perform my Samhain ritual. During my ritual I do a spell for release and balance that out with a new year's wish. I close with a 12 card tarot spread to glimpse into the coming year.

This year, the things I'd wish for are few but the things I'd like to leave behind are plentiful. Some require a lot more work than the few days left between now and Samhain can fully heal, but other ones that have plagued me for entirely too long need to be told they will no longer have power over me and I can think of no better time than Samhain to release them.

The things I am leaving behind are the demons of self doubt and loathing. For as long as I can remember, I've suffered from fairly low self esteem and the wee demons in my head telling me I'm not good, creative, in shape, pretty, clever, funny, talented, likeable, etc, etc, enough have been less than helpful in my getting over it. I am blessed with people who love and praise me, but am completely incapable of graciously accepting a compliment. Until I began this blog a little over a year ago, sharing my art was something I very rarely did. So, I have made progress in some aspects, but now it's time to deal with the rest of them.

Yesterday, I sat down and began work on my project for week one of Tam's Art, Heart and Healing workshop on Willowing.org. Yes, week one actually started last week, but sometimes the universe has you hold off on things until the time is right for them. This was most certainly the case, because as I was pondering letting go of my demons I was watching Tam's videos for this project, which is all about changing how your inner critic speaks to you and letting go of the negativity it can breed in you.

Of course, when you create a void by letting go of something, there's an empty space to be filled with something wonderful. The page is devoted to the wonderful that you wish to focus on; a statement and word that will solidify the positive and keep out the negative. She said we could make a person who represented us and looked nothing like us, but for me, I wanted the girl on my positivity page to be me. I didn't look in a mirror or use photos, I just let my pencil and brush go and ended up with a semi stylized girl who looks almost exactly like me ten years ago.

My glasses and nose ring are present and accounted for and the message is straightforward and simple. Quit beating up on and start loving yourself.

And that my lovelies, is my resolution for this Samhain.

Will you be making any resolutions, releasing or wishing for anything as the Wheel of the Year begins a new cycle? feel free to share in the comments or on your own blogs. If you share elsewhere though, let me know here so I can come visit with you.