Catching Up With the 'Ole Altered Journal

It's been so long since I've worked in my altered journal, the big old Reader's Digest Anthology that has been my big journal of everything for the past three years. I finally sat down this week to scan some of the pages I did back in January, as well as create a page for the beer fest we went to last weekend since I collected some seriously great paper goodies while we were there.

I also, much to my chagrin, finally finished up a page I sketched out while Joe and I were on our honeymoon (nearly three years ago). I'm now officially 280 pages into the 536 page book. To be fair though, I have ripped probably 20 pages out and glued others together to keep the binding from exploding.

Being as how it's been a good long time since I shared anything from this journal and I'm working in my pagan art journal with only paint and ink rather then collage, I'd share some of the pages I've done in 2011.

(click on any of these to see them larger on Flickr.)

Inspired by time with the lovely and siblings over Christmas; I'm the one grinning like a dork. Includes some wrapping paper, stamps and bits of cards people sent me.


Celebrating my participation in and completion of the 2011 Sketchbook Project and my theme 'Nightmares'. What is the Fear in Your Heart?


This one was done back when I had a relapse of my eye issue back at the end of March, beginning of April. I had just gotten home from the doctor and was emotionally overwhelmed, exhausted and looked to my journal for comfort. I put no real thought into this; just grabbed my charcoal sticks and various acrylic paints and let myself go. No brushes, no sketching. Highly therapeutic, a bit ugly and not sure what the hell I squiggled on there.


My tribute to the fabulous beer festival. No real explanation needed I think. Watercolor, pen and various goodies.

You know I couldn't leave you without showing you what took me nearly three years to go ahead and color right? ;-) Here is the page I sketched out on our honeymoon:

That's right. Just married and riding a gods-damned unicorn! The image on the right is a postcard from a place we visited on our honeymoon. I chopped two pages down to just strip and glued it in between them then reinforced the flimsy tabs with bits of a card.

This book has gone on various travels and adventures with me and holds all sorts of memories, ideas and quirky tidbits I've encountered over the years. Now that I'm past the halfway point in it, I'm actually worried I'll fill it up soon. How weird is that?

Who and What are You?

So, I was totally called on by Angel from Ivy on the Path in her most recent blog post "Who are you and what are you?: Personal styles of the craft" to share a bit about my personal style. I didn't want to hog her entire comment section with a long winded ramble, so I thought I should just go ahead and do a post.

I'm going to preface this with a warning; I typically suck at talking about myself. It's usually very stream-of-consciousness and not as well written as say, descriptions of things or snark.

Since I was a girl, I've been intensely interested in, fascinated by and in love with nature. From trees to rocks to flowers to animals, I couldn't absorb enough information about or spend enough time out in it all.I had all the makings of a young witch and had feelings in my heart and spirit that had no name. I was a wee pagan. Countless days were spent chatting with the friendly oaks in the backyard, collecting neat rocks, on the look-out for one of the neighboring bears to wander by or making potions and spells from mud, plants and sticks. It's something I've carried with me into adulthood, although I will begrudgingly admit that a lot of the 'doing without worry' of my younger years has gone into hiding and has yet to re-emerge since I was hit with a case of 'the grown-ups'.

Now that I'm through that strange and unpleasant phase where I worried far too much about 'being a grown up' , 'putting aside childish things' and 'being successful' (by the standards of others), that youthful way of not over-thinking and worrying things to death is something I'm trying to reclaim. This is something that shows in many things: my art, my writing, my enjoyment of purely silly things. It shows in my rekindled love for and belief in the fae, who I had pushed aside and denied belief in during this stodgy period of my life.

I definitely believe that the things we enjoy in our day to day lives, the things that we tend towards and favor, our life experiences are all reflected in our personal styles as pagans, witches, etc. Drawing from my less than pleasant experience above, I've been working on trusting my heart and my guts when it comes to spells and rituals and putting all the damn books down. While they are great tools, they're written based on someone else's comforts, style and beliefs - not my own.

Some examples of my personal style:

* I have a fondness for the antique, vintage or just plain old. Be it books, keys, teapots or what have you; these things are in my china hutch, on my bookshelves, on the mantle and adorn my altar in the form of candle holders, bells, plates and bowls. There isn't a thing on my altar that was brand new when I bought it or it was gifted to me. Everything has a past.

* Being such a barefooted, bug bitten dirt worshiper, it's only natural that my favorite colors are greens, browns and brilliant blues. These are often part of my altar set-up, usually in the form of altar cloths. Also not terribly surprising, is I'm always working plants and stones into my workings, or putting them on the altar for some reason or another.

* Simplicity, fun and not always taking everything overly seriously is important to me. A lot of my spellwork is spontaneous, light hearted and free form.

* My style and moods change with the seasons, though not exactly as you would expect. In the Spring, I feel renewed and it is incredibly hard to keep me indoors. I'm drawn towards planting, enjoy skipping around in the rain and looking for four leaf clovers. Birds and flowers adorn the house. In Summer, my mood levels out, I'm content. I enjoy watching the green world flourish, soak in the late setting sun and long to be by the sea. In Autumn, I'm giddy and once more renewed: I'm drawn to this part of the year most. I bask in the harvest and the browning of the earth, bid farewell to the sun, bring out the pumpkins and take time to reflect on many a things. In the Winter, when the sun has disappeared I often find myself melancholy and dreary. In attempts to bring in some cheer, I deck the house out in greens and whites and prepare (sometimes dread) the upcoming holidays.

* Personal expression, art, inspiration and the wild world are important to me. There is always art on my altar, my tools are often handmade or found, I tend towards things which are naturally beautiful. For instance my wand, which is just a branch that was found, that I adorned with leather, shells, feathers and beads. I work with all of the elements, though I am most comfortable with Earth and Water. I have an easier time expressing some of my feelings and beliefs through art and then thinking on how to word them later then the other way around sometimes, hence my pagan art journal; the closest thing to a cohesive Grimiore I've yet to create.

* Birds are a huge inspiration for me, I'm completely fascinated by them. I collect feathers for use in charms, bags and spellwork. I also use bird shaped candle holders for petitions or prayers so they can carry my thoughts on their wings.

* I'm still coming into my own, now that a lot of the unrealistic expectations I put on myself are fading away with the anger and depression of my late teens and early twenties. I'm a work in progress who is settling into the rhythm of my life and learning to be happy with the genuine me. I'm reconnecting with my intuition, with my faith and making my way along this path knowing it could change at any moment (as it recently has) and looking forward to the adventure of it.

This is just a small list, I could carry on forever about all of the things that I enjoy and some of the experiences I've had. However, I feel these big ones are the meat and bones of who and what I am currently: a woman, wife, friend, dork, artist and witch who is heavily inspired by nature and the seasons, enjoys a good story, a cold pint, a bit of fun and mischief and is finding her way back to herself while walking a winding path.

Danni also enjoys disguising herself as a Mario brother while drinking coffee.

So, my lovelies. Tell me a bit about yourself and your personal style, whether you be a witch or not. There are no right or wrong answers or ways, only our own. I'd like to get to know everyone a bit better, that's another personality trait of mine: curiosity. Feel free to leave a ramble here or on your blog (post the link here so I can visit) and stop by Ivy on the Path to visit Angel sometime, her photos are as beautiful as her writing is inspiring and thoughtful.

Downtown, Music and Ale

We kicked off the weekend with the Greek Festival downtown at the Greek Orthodox Church, where there was music, many painted wooden toys and a 45 minute line for gyros that we definitely waited in.

After our bellies were full of lamb and pita, we walked Main Street for a little bit and enjoyed the cool night air. We stopped to listen to the dude who seems to always be playing his guitar by this statue on weekends. Let me tell you, this guy can seriously sing. He's awesome. And I probably owe him like $40, because every time I see him I seem to have no cash on me to put in his tip drum.

After getting some snarkiness and house work out of my system on Saturday, I went to the previously mentioned beer festival, Top of the Hops. While I was there, I sampled 28 beers from my tiny souvenir mug and let me tell you, I'm happy I sampled some of them there instead of buying them. That being said, there were some really tasty new beers I discovered as well as some old favorites that I just had to get while I was there. I know, I probably should have skipped the old favorites to try some more new ones, but I just couldn't help myself.

The whole day wasn't just about wandering aimlessly from beer vendor to beer vendor (although it could have been, had you wanted it to) and we took a break from our wanderings to take some classes at the 'Brew University'. One was on beer and cheese pairings, which was a delicious class! The other was on homebrewing 101, which while it lacked cheese and crackers gave me the opportunity to try some unique brews, like bacon stout and a beer with peanut butter cups in it.

After the festivities came to a close, we all met up back at a friend's place for swimming, pizza and conversation which included the meat of my last post and several visits from a toad who was hell bent on getting in the pool. We relocated him to a storm drain where there was plenty of non-chlorinated water, so hopefully he decided that was an improvement and didn't attempt to get into the pool after we left.

Cheers to a weekend well spent!

Some Post-Rapture Ponderings

While I was out and about on Saturday with the lovely and our friends, we had a good hearty chuckle about this end of the world business. We eagerly awaited the raptor after the beer festival, while lounging by a pool. Unfortunately, even with their cleverness and apparent ability to use door handles, the poor dinosaur would have needed a key card to get in. It's a good thing he didn't waste his time showing up.

Now, this isn't to say we were mocking the people who woke up Sunday and realized they would need to rebuild their lives, more or less from scratch because this wasn't the case. We laughed about ourselves and joked about how we were planning on being left behind anyway. When the hour came and went, none of us were really surprised or relieved. However, during our day we did discuss the unfaltering belief some people have in doomsday/rapture/end of the world prophecies and the big one, you know the one, Winter Solstice 2012, came up.

This is one that in my younger days, I was incredibly scared of. I had no idea what significance the Mayan calendar had nor an understanding of what a period of great change could mean. Add to that some folks spouting that it's going to be the time of Armageddon, the return of Christ, the (next) date of Rapture and what's a teenager to do but worry? And continue that worry into their early 20's when friends of theirs are saying they just know it's true and that's when the world will end. But, here I am in my late 20's, with different friends, some research of my own and a husband who lived in Honduras for over 2 years and studied Mayan culture, religion, etc while there and afterward and I'm not worried about the world ending. If I'm wrong and it does, well then I was wrong. There's no sense to me in worrying about it and living the remainder of my days in fear.

I said as much while we were snacking away on pizza and having a laugh and one of our friends got deadly quiet. For a moment I was worried I had offended him somehow, but I hadn't. He said he's not worried that the world will end either, but he's worried about the panic and paranoia of others who do think that date will be the end. He's worried people who think the world will cease to exist on December 21nd will go on a spree of crime, looting and violence since there will be no one left to hold them accountable afterward. He's planning on taking time off work and holing up in his house with his wife, food, water and weapons just to be on the safe side.

I was completely shocked and a bit baffled. More so when my own husband said he had been considering the effects such a widespread and well known prophecy might have on people, and was thinking about defenses as well. People believed strongly that Y2K would happen and the world would end, it was well known and widespread and I don't recall any looting or pillaging happening. I was unarmed, at a party when it was supposed to happen and I made it safely into the new year. I don't see how this is different, but they think that it will be. Now, a few days later, I'm wondering if they have a point.

So my friends, I ask you. What are your thoughts on Doomsday prophecies in general? What about this big one in 2012? Are you concerned about people running rampant, about defending your home? I'm curious to see what others think, especially after that conversation.

P.S. I'll be back with photos from the weekend and some more cheery stuff either later today or tomorrow.

And I Feel Fine...

I've not weighed in on this end of the world business at all, because I typically don't give Doomsday prophecies much thought. There have been a few of them since I've been on this Earth which haven't come to pass. I deal with these sorts of things by cranking up some music and doing the usual things I do, enjoy my time with my friends and family and let humor get me through. If the world's going to end, I may as well be smiling and having a good time when it does!

*dances* I'll see all of you lovely left-behinders tomorrow. I'm off to a beer festival today. If the world does happen to end and the raptor does show up, know that I've enjoyed and appreciated your friendships, insights, talents and support. And, at the very least it's a gorgeous day and there will be beer a'plenty.

Now this I could get excited about, because dinosaurs are awesome and I'd love to see one. Even if it was coming to get me.

In the Garden

With the lack of sun, the heavy rains and ridiculous hail storm we've had since I planted my seeds, I'm surprised anything came up. But, the seeds have sprouted and I have more then a few baby plants growing up in my garden. I'm extremely pleased, considering this is the first year I've had my own garden and I have more plants then I hoped for.

Spinach and bush beans.

Summer Squash.

I've been spending a fair amount of time outside keeping the weeds down, because the bastards are persistent. Even after plucking, baking them under plastic and turning the beds they continue to come up in fairly large numbers. But, I feel like the veggies and I will ultimately win the fight with them.

Tomatoes.

Cucumber with wee jumping spider friend.

The peas and cucumbers are beginning to sprout tendrils. I'll need to gather some sticks and make them a trellis soon. The previous owners were kind enough to leave behind a few large metal tomato cages, so I'll be putting them to use once the plants mature a bit more.

Peas with wee tendrils.

Lettuce.

While the roses and strawberries are finishing up blooming for the season, the babies in my vegetable garden are growing up. I can't wait for Midsummer, our first harvest from our first garden and the sense of accomplishment (and tasty meal!) that will come along with it.

The Passionate Moon

Wisteria Moon by Josephine Wall

The warmth of the sun ebbs, only slightly, as Mother Moon rises and the Earth and her children bask in the glow. The Hare moon, under whose lusty pull you may find yourself wanting to frolic with your lover; May's moon.

May is the month of Beltane and its moon carries some of the festival's fire. This is a time of passion, renewal, flowers and growth. The Earth has re-awakened and is warming up. The God and Goddess walk hand in hand once more, blessing the lands with fertility and love.

May you find renewal, love, passion and warmth by the Moon's light. Blessed Esbat, lovelies.

Duck Derby

Since I gave a tiny glimpse of the Rubber Duck Derby in my previous post (that Blogger reverted to a draft during it's outage and was kind enough to cut half of it off. I had to bring up a cahce version, copy and paste as a new post and repost it sans comments *grumble*) that I would share a few of the photos I took at the race. After some sadness, the 'Great Blogger Outage' and surviving Friday the 13th (the best day of the month!) who doesn't want some cheerfulness ala Rubber Ducky? :)

Coming over the falls.

Go, Ducky Go! You're in First!


Just floating on by.

Grouping up at the finish!

I'm off to spread some mulch, do some weeding and hit up Artisphere, Greenville's giant annual art festival this weekend. What are your plans for the weekend?

Of Rubber Duckies and Passing On

This past weekend was, in a word, surreal. Joe's birthday was Sunday, so we opted to take the weekend easy and just have some fun. No house work, no worries. And at first, it went just as planned, with stops at our local comic book shops to celebrate Free Comic Book Day and a trip to the park downtown for the annual Rubber Duck Derby. There's something ludicrously silly and fun about watching thousands of rubber ducks popping over the waterfalls and racing down the river towards the finish line.

We came home and I absconded to finish painting his birthday gift as we waited for friends to come over for a pre-birthday hangout with fire and s'mores.

As the night went on, I noticed stress and worry on my brother's face. He's not prone to either the way that I am, so I asked what was wrong and he said their (his and his girlfriend's) bunny had been acting oddly, not eating as much as usual and being a bit lazy. I assumed the heat was probably just getting to her but figured I'd give her some feel better petting. However, upon touching her I had the overwhelming feeling that she was dying. Not wanting to worry my brother, and having no explanation for my feeling other then I just felt it, I gave him the name of my vet and told him to take her in the morning.

Not the bunny in this story. This is one of our wild rabbits who I call 'The Strawberry Thief'.

They took her in, my brother went to work, telling me they needed to take her back for blood work in the morning. With that I put all thoughts of the previous night out of my head and Joe and I spent the afternoon lazing about playing video games, which is all he wanted for his birthday. No more then an hour and a half later, my brother's girlfriend rushed out of their room, panicked and hysterical, cradling the bunny who was wide eyed and shaking. I took the bunny from her and told her to get her things, I'd rush them to the vet. However, as I held the bunny I felt a tug on my guts and a sort of shift in the air and knew she had passed. I hadn't felt her stop breathing, but when I put my hand to her ribs, felt her heart had stopped. I layed her down on her blanket, petted her head and wished her a safe, peaceful journey to the Otherworld. My brother and his girlfriend opted not to bury her in our yard, as the clay soil gets too hard for us to dig without an auger past a level of about 1.5 feet and something, I suspect a fox, has dug up the baby bunny I found under the hazelnut tree and buried on May Day.

This is the first time I've held a dying animal fully in my arms. I've held the paws and kissed the heads of many of my beloved pets as they've passed over in the vet's office over the years, but I was loaded up with grief and never experienced the feeling of passing. Not the physical feelings per say, but the indescribable feeling of knowing without knowing. It was a strange feeling, not uncomfortable but not like anything I've experienced before. I've been coming across the dead more often recently, it was only a matter of time before I would come into contact with the dying. However, it effected me more strongly then I anticipated and I spent a good portion of the night in thought or in tears. I think I owe my husband another special day, for being awesome, comforting me and not once being at all annoyed that I was like this on his birthday.

An odd, full circle sort of weekend. A celebration of birth and the passage into death. Have you held an animal as it crossed over before? How did it effect you the first time? Do any of you walk a path where the dead and dying are very much a part of it and if so, would you care to share a bit about it?

Welcoming May

Beltane came and brought with it the electricity and warmth of my soul that I've come to expect. I left my tithe to the forest, along with some pretty stones for the fae and beer for the goblins who live here. The entire day was low key, calm and perfect as it was exactly what my spirit needed.

From the dewy dawn, pink from the sun's kisses and heralded in by the buzzing of bumbles and calls of many birds,

through the afternoon which lingered heavy and hot as we worked in the garden and lawn, to the twinkling stars dancing in the navy blue sky overhead as we lit our first fire in our home;

Does anyone else see the woman in the fire?

Peaceful, perfect and renewing.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, celebrated the first of May, loved much and laughed even more. Beltane Blessings (a wee bit late) to you.